IN MEMORY OF EVERY OTHER FALLEN HERO

This morning on my way to Ogun State I kept on receiving notifications via Whatsapp from one of the groups I am in. I told myself that today is not one of those days that people will run down my battery with their early morning gossip and decided to appeal to their conscience and let the group rest. Going through the discussion I couldn't help but join in the conversation as what was being discussed by my friends could melt the strongest heart.

Today has been all about Odusanya Babatope a fallen hero who died in active service. Babzy as he was well known by friends was killed sometime in March during one of military operations in the North.
Babzy would have been a year older today if death had not taken him out of this cruel world. He was in my set and even though I cant recall any personal encounter others didn't hesitate to pour their hearts out in the group and these are some of the things they said about him.

* If the dead do really look back you will see how much we miss you being with us. Happy Birthday friend, our own General that never was. we celebrate you today as you would have been a year older - YAKS

*Even in death, we will celebrate his birth and love for his country. Sun're oooo Babsy- DAVOUR

*My friend my house Captain and my shield from bullies...He was the best Captain Green house ever had. Never flogged juniors without a cause and did the portions that were left undone before leaving for class. You are well celebrated, we love you but God loves you more- ORO

*What can i say Babsy was a real character, from his love for ebs and his ability to dance like the guy in Boney M, to his ability to call people to order when they are misbehaving. He was just a joy giver, the abudu bwen bwen master we miss you bro - UFEDOJO

*Words will never express just how un quantifiable the loss is, either ways we celebrate the few impact-FULL years. Babzy metamorphosed in serving our nation and we remember you today like you were never gone #SleepOnSoldier - IBITOYE

* Always in our hearts - PAPPY

*RIP greatman, Babzy valued friendship and did everything necessary to keep friends close even if it meant calling during one of their early morning parades while in NDA like he did on few occasions. Much respect SIR - TOJU

*I like that nigga he ignited my passion for the military hope to be there someday - PEDI

*Babatope Odusanya i feel really bad that he always made efforts to come look for me anytime i was in Lagos and I didnt reciprocate the gesture before he left....its all good. Life is fleeting, May God help us all - LESHO


Going through all the write ups i remembered this quote that  'YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE AND IF YOU DO IT RIGHT, ONCE IS ENOUGH'.  So I want to use this medium to honour every other fallen hero who has laid down his life for his nation and to also console the ones they left behind. I want us to also ask ourselves what we would be remembered for after we have left this place. 

Babzy lived his dream of being a soldier, although his peers never took his words to heart. Little wonder he always said 'FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS'. Before his demise he left behind a wife who he married in December 2014. I pray God grants her the strength to celebrate her husband on this day as he is being celebrated by friends and not mourned.

I call it WICKEDNESS

On 27th May, 2015 I wrote an article "Do I really want my Ex-back" since that day i have been trying to clean up some comments by some people who believe that casting spells is the best way to get your ex back or that person you love back.
I decided to put out this post because I am indeed tired of deleting such comments which keeps coming in even after how many months and secondly for everyone to know my stand as regards these amazing Spell Casters, temple powers, magicians etc that some people believe in. So let me start this way;

First I believe that there is enough space for every sheep to graze in so there is no need for over crowding. There will always be another person out there for you who will accept your flaws and help strengthen your weaknesses. It is not a Do or Die affair.

Secondly I believe in that song by Doris Day with the latin maxim titled QUE SERA SERA meaning WHAT EVER WILL BE WILL BE...(if you like use charm, one day e go clear for the person eye).

Thirdly there is always a price to pay when you alter the cause of nature. Whenever you use a mystical medium to make interventions on your behalf, you better brace yourself  for the repercussion which is inevitable.

 I understand the fact that when we are heartbroken, poor, lonely and we feel we are at the lowest points of our life, we are often forced by everything around us to use any medium possible to make things right or get back what we lost etc. The irony of this all is that most people who seek to have these dark mediums used on their behalf know little or nothing about what is been done.

I have always known that the heart of man is desperately wicked and it is so unfortunate that its even practiced with this thing called LOVE. Have you ever thought of the harm you are doing to person the spell is for? Of a truth people sometimes people wont understand  how you feel until they experience the pain...put your self in that person's shoes and if possible cast the spell on yourself first and let us know how amazing it is to be enslaved to another person because that is simply the only way i can perfectly describe this ....
'LOVE IS A VERB' and there is no joy derived in forcing one to do something forcefully. If you enslave someone all in the name of love and for your own selfish reasons, you should also get ready for that person's reactions towards you when that SPELL clears from his or her eyes because one day it will come back to hunt you. It's just cause and effect.

The real issue is this; can we really say our partner loves us when they don't have the freedom to choose? The reason its called love in the first place is because among the crowd he/she choose you,when you take away the freedom of choice you also take away the beauty of love.

Anyone capable of enslaving one just for the sake of love is WICKED and such person should stop using LOVE as an avenue to orchestrate wickedness. Sadly enough we can't identify such people by merely looking at them . So in Falz's voice i will pray that God should save us from Karashika...



 My apologies for the long break, but am back now.

Finding FELLOWSHIP

A friend of mine was so sad about the state of his relationship, he did not have the words to describe it but all he could say was “we are not as close as we use to be”. I tried to probe further and he still could not lay his hands on the words to describe the feelings that has stirred up in his heart.

He says things like she does not talk to me, and I asked do you mean literally, he said No of course.

I feel we are not connecting.

Honestly I could not help him that day, so I told him a usually line ‘Every relationship requires hard work’ and I tried to wiggle out of the gist.

Later that night before I slept, I could not just shake the feeling that even though I understood what he was saying I could not find the words to describe what he was saying.

If they talked and laughed, spent time together and kept in touch, what then was missing?

Finally I had to ask myself, when do I feel most connected to someone? That was when it dawned on me; the word he was looking for was ‘fellowship’.

The word fellowship is usually used to describe a collection of individual with a common interest, activity or purpose. But underneath that the world fellowship has a strong tie to vulnerability, that period you open up your deepest fears, worries and dreams to someone or something.

Most people only express that kind of vulnerability in the place of prayer when they are talking to God, that moment you see them stripe themselves of any sense of pride and control laying it all before their maker. In that moment they experience true fellowship.

I also knew I felt most connected to anyone whenever I opened up myself totally to them, going beyond the usual superficial facade I carry every day. I let them into my fears, problems, issues, worries and pains.  I let them see my weakness and let them see me for who I am. In those moments that is when we form true connections.

So I quickly pinged my friend who was still awake and asked him, when last did you have fellowship with your partner, he asked me to explain what I meant by fellowship and I did, his response showed its been long they let the other person see each others vulnerability. The next morning he told me thank you and said it worked like magic, I was just glad I could be of help.

Now I must quickly add that the heart of man is wicked, so you don’t show your vulnerability to every dude or lady who comes your way. But for you to make deep connections and bonds, it must be on the areas where we are the most weak.

Most ladies will say that men don’t share, so why should we share. I have seen men who share and ladies who feel it is a waste of time or who mistake this attribute for weakness. It is not. In fact it is what really makes him a man, the fact he can lay his plans out for you, lets you see his vulnerability and fears. This shows you the respect he has for you and how safe he feels having you in his life.

When a lady shares her fears and issues with a man, it does not make her a weakling. In fact it does the opposite, it draws out the animal instinct in your man to protect his own. This issue of Captain America and Wonder woman only works in the comic world. Couples do not only share the happiness and wonderful times, they also share their fears, sorrows, pain and vulnerability.

So I encourage you to open up in your relationship and fellowship together, it can only make the bond stronger.

My gift to a Corp Member.

I was on my own and my friend Icon One asked me, what best gift he can give a Corp Member.  It didn’t take me a second to suggest money as the best gift. As expected he said ‘Corp Members already have money given to them from the Federal Government and maybe State Government’.  IT’S NEVER ENOUGH were the next words that came out from my mouth; GIVE THEM MORE MONEY. It was at this point that my friend got my point, WEALTH CREATION (A higher sense of purpose).

The first thing that came to my mind after he asked me that question was my days as a Corp Member.  The most difficult days for me were days before the passing out parade /ceremony. Thoughts like “what was next", where do I go from here? Filled my head because it was time to face reality and back then Government Allawee was really helpful.  For some of us, that N 9,000 was the best thing that has ever happened to our lives. It still had its highest value few months to passing out. I didn't want to sound biased, but since my friend got my point, we flowed with that concept for a while but mid way into the conversation, I began to realize what the issue was. "WE WERE NOT PREPARED FOR LIFE." This may sound so lame, but this is truth!

Our nation began NYSC, for the purpose of national integration; the secondary effect of this scheme was that the average Nigerian graduate began to develop the civil servant mentality. Instead of relying on our inner self, to become creators, and look for ways to use the knowledge we acquired in universities to create value, we simply just wanted the Alawee to continue flowing.

I stayed back in Mubi Adamawa State, for some days, waiting in one man's office to get a letter to be retained at the General Hospital. MEHN!!! N150, 000 a month felt like N2, 000,000 a month, even though I wasn't just looking at that the money. I felt the experience would give me a good foundation and the truth remains that I didn't need that N150, 000.  If only I knew half of what I know now then, I probably would have the biggest eye center in the whole of Adamawa State; that sounds big right? but what you probably don't know is that at the time I served, there were just about 8 qualified eye doctors in Adamawa (6 of those were Corp Members like me). I mean just 8; ok to be fair not more than 10, including optometrists and ophthalmologists. If I had foreseen the future what will I need N150, 000 a month salary for?

There are but a few people that understand this, whereas some understand. Now the problem, in my own opinion is this; while we may know WHAT to do, HOW to do it, HOW TO START is where we have the biggest challenge. We often get over whelmed, with the fear of what's next that we end up accepting anything offered us. We often feel left at the mercy of others who apparently have employment offers to give. Then we allow "others" set the value of our Certificate or our worth (never let another man decide your value).

Our price becomes so low because we think we don't have an alternative. We often justify whatever salary offered us, by sayings things like if I lived with N9, 000 a month, then N35, 000 is about 3 times better and I can manage. Some others will look at the long list of "unemployed" and say, half bread is better than nothing. While it is better to keep bus and start small, my worry is what is really going on in the mind of that individual. It is a different thing to accept something small today seeing the future potentials in that offer, than accepting something simply because you have no trust or belief in yourself, or that you don't have a sense of direction.

So if I am to answer my friend’s question all over again, I will say, TRUE EDUCATION is the best gift you can give to a Corp member. A true knowledge of self-worth, personal discovery (I feel this has the highest value.). We must take on a campaign to convert out graduates from takers to givers. We should show them the higher purpose of education, which in my opinion is to use the knowledge they have acquired to contribute to mankind. We should teach them how to create value from their immediate environment and also learn how to receive from the value they have created.

It takes a little extra effort from writing an application letter and organizing curriculum vitae to writing a business plan or a proposal. What makes the latter seem hard, is that you have to identify value first, and answer the question; WHY, HOW AND WHAT. We must stress the importance of personal development (yes we have heard this a billion times) but we have to be innovative in transferring this knowledge to our young graduates.

When we engage in continuous education, we increase our options and increase our ability to create wealth; true security therefore is in our ability to create wealth. A wise man once said, ‘it is foolishness doing for a man that which he can do for himself’.
Honestly, I am one of those totally against our government paying unemployed graduates unemployment allowance or whatever name it is called, when value and riches is practically wasting away on every street of Nigeria. Rather let the government use that money to make our universities and colleges real universities and real colleges.

That which a man has within him, is what makes way for him; it's inconsequential where he or she is. Learn how to properly harness that which you have and locate the person to whom it is most valuable, and you are almost ready to hit a home run. Teaching the Corp Member or young graduate the practical steps to do this, to me is the best gift we can give to them.

Written by  Chukwunedum Okpara

How Far are we willing to go?

I had a flat tire on returning from a long trip and after changing to my spare tire, I decided to stop over at a vulcaniser shop about a kilometer away to fix the bad tire so that I don't get stranded before I get to Akwa Ibom. Shortly after he started fixing the punctured tire, a neighbor who does other services close to his shop walked closer to him and continued a quarrel between both of them, which must have started before I got there. So I kept silent while listening. I was shocked to hear the neighbor accuse the vulcaniser of dropping nails some distance away on all the three roads leading to the junction where his shop is located. The neighbor claims that this guy does that early in the morning each day before the start of work. That way he is guaranteed of having customers with punctured tires crawling slowly into his shop after picking the nails. After saying that, the neighbor walked away satisfied that he has exposed him just like the vulcaniser did to him over another matter before I arrived.

How could Nigerians be so wicked while trying to make money?

Of course it did not happen to me, happened to a friend of mine. Lol I never get car na and for the records this is no fiction.

How did we get to this stage, where our bid for financial gain is more important than the life of another man? Did this Guy stop to think of what might happen if the driver was on high speed? I just can’t rap my head around this story. It is really sad how low we can go now these days for money.

The aim of this blog post is not really to create a frenzy about the actions of the vulcaniser, let us leave him to his God. The aim of this post is to make you ask yourself this question. HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO FOR CASH? I am not a preacher but I am sure this is what the bible meant when it said “the love for money is the root of all evil”. We are not going to ask you to raise your hands, but if you have crossed the line in your bid to create that future you want, it’s never too late to stop. As for those of you that have not yet crossed the line, you should have a pre-agreed limit to what you will not do in the name of “HUSTLE”.

I want this cash as much as you want to, but we must do it right.

Proverbs 13 vs 11 “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” ESV