Friday, 7 August 2015

Tools to feed him With..

I decided to share the post into two, because I really wanted to give space between the first post and the follow up. So that people can understand how important I believe feeding your man is. Pls read the first blog ( Feed-your-man.)for a better understanding of the follow up.

There is an old adage that says behind every successful man there is a woman. And even though most women say this in a bid to prop up the importance of women. I don’t think many understand it totally.

Most women do not really recognize the power they have over their Man. We have this power just by words sometimes, or sometimes even a look, to literally destroy their man or they can lift him up to do things that they would never do on their own without her encouragement and support.

Tools to feed my man

1.       Respect – most women do not really understand what this means and I am not sure I totally do, and this is because respect is relative. There are things you might do to one man and it means disrespect and to another it is cool. You have to understand how your man defines respect. I might be wrong but I believe most men value respect and loyalty way above love. One of the most common ways to show respect is to listen to your man. Don’t just hear, LISTEN.

The second way is to take him SERIOUSLY, if he tells you something and you go ahead and do what is on your mind that is outright disrespect. The slogan Yes does not cause quarrel, is a clear sign of disrespect, you act like you have heard and you go off and still do what pleases you.

2.       Use your words – after respect the next is the proper use of words, when you understand that it took him a great deal of effort to open up to you, to be vulnerable to you, and how he hopes to hear an opinion from you. And in that moment you say am tired I need to sleep, you have just told him ‘your worries are yours alone to bear don’t disturb me’.

Our opinions matter a lot to the Men in our lives, so use it to always support and encourage them. Words like (i)I really appreciate your faithfulness to our relationship.(ii) Thank you for working so hard.(iii) it is okay we will get through this together (iv) I love you. etc

3.       Make him feel needed – if you were comfortable being alone you should not have bothered dating in the first place. Men are wired to feel needed the same way women are wired to feel safe. Acting like you can take the world all by yourself makes a man wonder what his role is in your life. Make him feel needed, let him see that he is your amour and protector.

4.       Support his dreams - One of the things that sometimes baffles women is the way men’s self-worth is often tied to their profession. God gave work to the man from the Garden of Eden, before the fall, and it was part of what God called “good.”  Men derive a great amount of identity, purpose, and joy from this means God has given them to provide for themselves and the people they love. If you are not working help him get ready for work, if he is forgetful help him remember appointments or things he needs to do. Show him in your actions you will follow him to the moon and back

5.       Finally touch him – I know he is big, 6ft 2inches, has a biceps that can crush your skull in a bit, and he has this voice that reechoes in your house when he lets it lose. In all this show of masculinity he is still a small boy, who loves to be touched. I am not talking about sex. I am talking about touch. (I will share this with my ladies alone) but I am sure you get my drift already, in the olden days you would see the man lying down and the wife rubbing his pot belle. hahahhha, that is still an example of touch.

I know I missed some things, I don’t know it all and I am also learning but I think the above listed ones will go a long way in helping you feed your man to conquer the world. Feel free to share more via your comments.

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Feed Your Man.

It is a popular saying that the way to a man’s heart is true his stomach. And since the beginning of time the saying has stood to be true. But I would want to go a little deeper than the surface meaning of that saying.

What are you feeding your man?

Most times we ladies see our men as the terminator who has it all figured out and is on auto control with his plans and dreams for the Promised Land he is taking us to. We forget that he is just a Man.  He does not have two heads, or a super brain, he has not time travelled to the future to see how it will all end meaning he is as confused as you are.

He acts all in control as if he has the blue print of the dream but in reality he is struggling every day to make sure he does not drop the ball and make a fool of himself.

Yet ladies on daily occasion have not feed the man in their lives.

I don’t mean giving him food, I mean give him affirmation, praise, letting him know you support him, joining in his little success and letting him know that the sacrifice he pays on daily bases is appreciated by you.

When last did you just call him to say, I believe you are the man to bring all our dreams to reality, I believe in you and I am willing to ride or die with you. I know it is not easy for you but I trust you to pull through. In the little you have you provide for me when I ask. I am not asking you to say thank you. I am asking you to feed his dream.

From year to year, you have never told him how you are proud he is your man, we women always want to be at the receiving end of such praise and affirmations, but when last did we give it to our man.

He goes out makes a bad decision, he is beating up himself in the money he has lost, and all you do is remind him of his short comings, you begin to tell him things like you told him so, instead of you to uphold him and feed his self-esteem and believe, by telling him another opportunity will come, don’t beat up yourself, don’t give up yet.

He suggest as a team to reduce expenses and move into austerity measures because he needs to free up cash for the next big idea he is pursuing, the first words out of your mouth is I CANT. You did not even pause to consider or to think of a way to make it work, you immediately rebuff his strategy. Making it look like he is in this battle alone.

He finally gets that promotion, or a Job or gets a break in a contract he has been chasing for years, and the way you react is so passive that his happiness dwindles in a seconds.

Men always act like they have it all together, but if you have brothers, or male friends who could be honest, you will see that one of the reason they die earlier than women is just because of the burden they tend to carry alone.

You know how you feel when someone affirms you, encourages you and praise your accomplishments, don’t you think your man can use them once in a while as he strives to deliver the future to you.

Every man has an enormous potential, they all have the seeds of greatness in them, but they daily need someone to water it and nature it.

Part 2 coming soon - Tools To Feed Your Man.