Saturday, 2 May 2015

LDR




Whenever you tell someone you are in a relationship, they are happy for you, but then the follow up questions knocks out the joy, where does he stay? He stays outside the country or in a different city, and the look on their faces is that of pity, followed by the long preaching of why will you put yourself through so much trouble when you know it will never work and then you start to blame yourself why you ever opened your mouth in the first place to answer the question.

Oh I forgot, you must be wondering what is LDR, LDR is a code name for Long Distance Relationship. This is basically any form of relationship where one partner does not see each other on regular bases, it can vary from 2weeks to 3years. Phew 3years that’s a long time. Most people have this weird notion that 90% of all LDR will fail so they are very keen to advice you not to even try and save yourself the heartbreak. Today I will look at the major pros and cons of LDR and help you be objective in making your choice when you are in the position to do so.

Communication

Pro – when you don’t see someone everyday it helps you have more quality conversations that helps build intimacy, knowing that they are not around makes you value the times you get to talk or text and also helps create the most essential tool of active listening, because you listen to everything your partner says.

Cons- if you both have busy lives, you might not steal enough time from your day to make this quality conversation thereby reducing you to hi and hello which is the first step to your relationship funeral.

Romance

Pro- if romance is truly about the little things, LDR makes the couples grow in this, the thought your partner will put into making your birthday awesome or to celebrate an achievement of yours or to show you they care, goes to a whole new level. If you were close maybe a dinner or a hug will do but since you are far, you have to constantly create new ways to show your affection towards your partner, the skills of text writing, online shopping, email, video mgs etc. all makes you put in more thought to everything you do making you both romantic and creative.

Cons- to continual think of doing one magic trick or the other for your partner is draining, it just gets to a time when you just give up and settle for the normal routine things other couples do. It is also more expensive to create romance when you are not physically present with the person.


Nagging Removed

Pros - Almost all couples are guilty of fretting over the small stuff. Day-to-day troubles cause the most problems in relationships, with issues like not listening and not cleaning up etc. being the popular instigators of Nagging and small fights. LDR couples don't have to deal with the everyday responsibilities that many couples fight about. So Nagging is removed.

Cons- nagging is bad I must admit but pointing out the small stuffs you don’t like helps you know if you can actually live with this Lady/Man, so even if the LDR takes away the Instigators, those instigators are good pointers to the couple’s compatibility.



Trust

Pros – trust to me is the biggest hurdle all relationships face, and till you develop that, dearie your relationship is built on a faulty foundation that will fall one day. LDR helps you build that kind of trust that holds the marriage glued. Even though you don’t see them regular you develop this 6th sense that helps you trust and also connect to them , in ways that makes you know when they are saying the truth or not.

Cons- because you are not there to be around them on a regular bases the partner might take it as a license to cheat and do immoral things while he still acts all lovey lovey to you. The space they have can be there undoing, but then any human who takes the space as opportunity to cheat will also cheat if you were around FACT.

Interdependent 

Pros – have you not seen friends who once they start dating no longer have a life outside their partner? That is totally wrong. LDR helps you stay interdependent with your partner, you keep a healthy life outside him/her, that way you both are not living only in each other’s circumference.

Cons- so many people misuse this avenue of creating a life outside there partners. I know you should have your ladies/men night out and all those stuff but you have to know that those activities are not number 1 any longer

Celibacy

Pros – in a generation where this is becoming a lost act, LDR can help you abstain till you are married or till the relationship breaks up, either way no one loses.

Cons – there is no con, if you don’t sleep with him/her you did not lose anything.

I know you could probably think of more things that weigh into the decision, but if you follow the above checklist, you will see that LDR is not really bad. Is it hard work? Yes it is, but then it is worth every bit of it if he/she finally is the right one. Don’t let anyone tell you 90% of them fail, all relationships are about two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other, if you both refuse to give up then LDR will not stand a chance at breaking you UP.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

7 Habits that are SLOWLY killing US


Woke up this morning and knew I had to write about longevity but little did I know that, I was a culprit of what I wanted to share, As you all know by now, I have taken a proactive step towards my health and weight (closes eyes) , so this write up for today is more like a follow up.

Now I am not saying I have effectively eradicated all this from my life but I have started and that is the good news, so you should join me too on this road of regaining our health and weight.



Habit 1 Eating too much – we all know eating too much is bad for us, but somehow I think our parents do not know, because I can remember my parents making sure I finish one big bowl of food.  A typical mum does not believe in over feeding, they like their kids to have enough flesh to share (lol) but we all know that is not very good as we grow older. Your stomach can only contain 4liters of food, when it is totally empty. Imagine that 5liter gallon you have at home. Or that 5litre coke bottle, that’s the only space your stomach has when it is totally empty but we all know your stomach is not totally empty, for you to totally empty your stomach you need to fast for 8hours for Fatty foods and 2hrs for liquid. So we can say your stomach always has food inside, but for your tummy to be full it only needs to fill 1.5liters. so you see how little food you require to keep your body going, in terms of calories you need like 1500 calories for an active female and 2500 calories for a male per day (3 packs of indomie is already 750 .lol) eating too much can cause many illness in the body a list can go on and on, so reduce your food intake




Habit 2 – stepping out of your house without a sun shades – I know most of us know about the effects of Ultraviolet rays on our bodies so we use vitamin D enriched creams and wear cloths as we walk about, but very few know that this same UV rays are very harmful to your eyes. Scientific studies and research have shown that exposure to small amounts of UV radiation over a period of years increases the chance of developing a cataract and may cause damage to the retina, a nerve-rich lining of the eye that is used for seeing. Please buy a UV protected sunshade today. Don’t make your kids lead you when old.


Habit 3 Drinking Soda – I know of people who can’t eat a meal without Soda AKA mineral as we call it. But my dear you need to stop, I did not say cut back I mean stop, it has been proven that by cutting out soda from your diet people have lost incredible weight and regained back there fitness, whether is diet coke or normal coke they are all the same, artificial sweeteners or sugar all end up as glucose when digested. Scientists at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine and the Columbia University Medical Center examined the risk of vascular events in relationship to consumption of both regular and diet soft drinks, the study included over 2,500 men who were tracked for a ten-year period. Participants who drank diet soft drinks on a daily basis were 43% more likely to experience a vascular event (we mean stroke, heart attack, and other types of vascular-related illness). People who drank only small amounts of diet soft drinks or who drank regular soft drinks were not likely to experience these heart troubles.


Habit 4 holding your urine when you are pressed – in secondary school we were made to believe it was discipline, a teacher will tell you to hold it, phew!!! Ignorance is deadly, those teachers where exposing us to deadly infections that could have killed us, but I guess it was not yet our time. The longer you hold your urine the more your bladder can become a breeding ground for bacteria to grow.  These infections can now spread to the kidney and lead to greater effects on your body. I understand we women suffer more for this, because some public toilets can be “Wonderful” my dear it is better you carry a roll of tissue in your bag than predispose yourself to potential kidney wahala.


Habit 5 wexting – yeah, I bet you didn’t know they now have a word for it. The act of texting and walking is called – WEXTING. Wexting has been causing significant increases in pedestrian injuries and deaths every year. According to Dietrich Jehle, professor of emergency medicine at the University at Buffalo in New York, distracted walking results in more injuries per mile than distracted driving. Please!! please!!! please!!!! We need to put a stop to it.


Habit 6 watching Television for long- I am sure most of you did not see this one coming, lol neither did I oh. New research reports that adults who watch three or more hours of TV a day may double their risk of premature death. The new study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association studied 13,284 young and healthy Spanish university graduates and assessed risk of early death from three sedentary behaviors: TV watching, computer time and driving time. They didn’t find any associations with computer time and driving, but they report that the risk for death was two times higher for participants who spent three or more hours watching the television, even when the study authors accounted for other factors related to early death. The findings are still considered preliminary, though this is not the first time researchers have found seriously worrisome effects from watching too much TV. In another research a 12-year study of 17,000+ Canadians, researchers found that people who sat for longer hours died younger — regardless of age, body weight, or how much they exercised. This thing na serious matter, I know it’s not our fault that most of our job makes us sit down for long but you should help yourself by exercising in any little way you can. Talk a walk, move around you are not glued to that seat.




Habit 7 Smoking and drinking alcohol -there is nothing new to say here on this habit than it is bad and you should stop it, the research on it is comprehensive and my blog won’t contain them all. On smoking I will say there is no moderation in it, just stop!!! it kills. It is said that one stick cost you 15mins of your life. It might look small, but then you do the mathematics yourself. As it is written, “smokers are liable to die young”.
Alcohol on its own is a dicey subject, people have their different opinions and they believe it helps them so all I can say about that is apply moderation.

So here are the 7 habits I know some of us are doing that are slowly killing us. Please stop the ones you can and moderate on the ones you need to. I can’t bear the thoughts of losing any one yet, I love you all and it is my love that speaks. Feel free to add to the list on the comment section.




follow us on twitter @Toyidiya
photocredit: IG @nwigweomaa, boombotix

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

xeNOphobia




MOTHER AFRICA also known for her love for one another. She is seen helping liberate one another from poverty, her fight against diseases, freedom, slavery. Even the highly respected president of Ghana Kwame Nkrumah in the meeting of African Leaders in 1963 once said "no African will be free until all Africans are free."

Now What are we doing with the freedom that the likes of Nelson Mandela (in his blessed memory) spent years in jail for?





South Africa, officially the Republic of South Africa (RSA) is bordered by the Atlantic Ocean on the west and by the Indian Ocean on the south and east. Its neighbors are Namibia in the northwest, Zimbabwe and Botswana in the north, and Mozambique and Swaziland in the east and within it lies Lesotho.
The country is one of the few in Africa that never experienced coup d'├ętat, as regular elections have been held for almost a century. The vast majority of black South Africans were not enfranchised until 1994. During the 20th century, the black majority sought to recover its rights from the dominant white minority, with this struggle playing a large role in the country's recent history and politics.


I saw this video and I decided to pen down my thoughts.



video


Xenophobia in South Africa is perceived to have significantly increased after the installation of a democratic government in 1994. According to a 2004 study published by the Southern African Migration Project (SAMP)
Contrary to expectations, the incidence of xenophobia increased between 2000 and March 2008, at least 67 people died in what were identified as xenophobic attacks. In May 2008, a series of riots left 62 people dead; although 21 of those killed were South African citizens. The attacks were apparently motivated by xenophobia. In 2015, another nationwide spike in xenophobic attacks against immigrants in general prompted a number of foreign governments to begin repatriating their citizens.
Its economy is the second-largest in Africa, and the 34th-largest in the world. South Africa has the seventh highest per capital income in Africa. But poverty and inequality remain widespread, with about a quarter of the population unemployed and living on less than US$1.25 a day (with 200 as exchange rate we have N250) phew while In Nigeria the minimum wage is N18,000. Even though in Nigeria most people earn less than the minimum wage.

This is quite disheartening but is killing your fellow African the best way to go about it? Who are you to take a life when you cannot create one? Why don’t you convert all those negative energy into something positive?




Southern African Invasion in Nigeria listed South African Companies operating in Nigeria as follows:  MTN, Power Giant, Eskom Nigeria, South African Airways, South African Breweries (SAB miller), Stanbic Merchant Bank of Nigeria, Multichoice, Umgeni Water,  PEP Retail Stores, Shoprite, LTA Construction, Protea Hotels, Critical Rescue International, South African-Nigeria Communications, Global Outdoor Semces, Oracle, just to mention a few.
Most of these companies pay their foreigners in foreign currency unlike the locals that work for them. The benefits the foreigners get cannot be measured to what we Nigerians get. Foreigners occupy managerial positions while most of the locals serve them tea or coffee.

In Nigeria people do more than two jobs in order to pay their bills and sustain their families. Instead of carrying cutlass and inflicting injuires on foreigners why don’t you look for job and serve us tea or coffee like we do here in Nigeria. Clean their offices or hawk as seen in Nigeria. South African government you too can also help establish you people as seen in Nigeria via the YOU WIN program. You can also become an entrepreneur by acting on your ideas.




Xenophobia to me is just an excuse for one to commit murder and go scot free. Not even the costliest of perfume can wash away the blood on your hands. Have you thought about how the slogan SOUTH AFRICA FOR SOUTH AFRICANS will affect your economy, relationships with other countries and lots more. Remember no man is an island. Let AFRICANS unite and together we will achieve greater heights. #STOPTHEKILLINGS #SAYNOTOxenophobia.

Contrary to what the man in the video said, Gambia was ranked 20th in the United Nation's 2011 Human Development Report which reflected the countries with the lowest human development. Gambia is not the poorest country in the world.



Photocredit: answersafrica, banaction

DYSFACEBEATS



Hello everyone, from May 11th, DYSFACEBEATS will be having an intensive makeup training and classes for participants interested in becoming a makeup artists or those who want to empower themselves financially the art of makeup (if you are in ABUJA). 




Those also interested in personal makeup will not be left behind as there will also be a DIY training which includes:
1.Learning the art of makeup
2.Face shapes.
3.Brows for different face shapes.
4.Essentials in makeup.
5.Eyebrow shaping and Grooming
6.Natural makeup
5.Day 2 Day
6.Bridal makeup (Traditional and white)
7. Gele tying
8.Smokey eyes
9.Highlighting and Contouring.
10.Creating your own portfolio






DURATION: 3weeks (5times every week)
REGISTRATION : N2000

TUTION FEES: N50,000

Participants will also get free make up brushes .....heheheh!!! You also get a huge DISCOUNT just by mentioning my name. Oh!! YES i am paying part of the money for those who will mention me as referral but please kindly send your names and phone numbers to 08021476179 in order to keep track of those i am paying for.










Personal makeup classes for 3weeks is also possible for just N20,000


For Bookings and Enquiries call: 07034782429 pin:2B1C47C0
You can also check out our facebook page: makeupbywendysmallz 
IG:@wendysmallz and @Dys_facebeatz

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

THE FUTURE





'Machines will replace 80 percent of doctors in a healthcare future and by future I mean in 20years time'- Vinod Khosla (Sun Microsystems co-founder)

The internet is scary I must admit, most times I use it to search out information and answers to questions that trouble me. How I wish internet was cheaper in Nigeria, I am sure I would spend my whole life there (hehehheh) just kidding.

I was scared when I stumbled upon an article online about how machines will replace Doctors in 20years so I decided to dig into what my own profession will be like in the next 20years, having spent roughly 6years already trying to become a Lawyer. My dear it’s not looking good for we humans, I mean I had planned to be a SAN be in the next 10years (sobs).
The rise in technology has placed a fresh and new demand on each and every one of us. Our careers as we know is about to be wiped out of the surface of the earth in the next 20years as it is predicted that 80% of all Current Jobs will be automated. The question is will you be left behind in the new world or will you reinvent yourself?

I will take a look at 3 careers today and will be glad to do the research for you on any career path you would want to know the predicted future in technology, just drop a comment and we would do the research and publish it.




MEDICINE
The tools being developed by these guys are mind blowing here are a few:

1. AliveCor an iPhone heart monitor attachment. This attachment is clinically accurate according to the developers Apple. In clinical trials, AliveCor's Heart Monitor demonstrated clinical efficacy. Within seconds you are able to acquire a single-channel rate and rhythm assessment. It is also portable as you have an ECG recorder at your fingertips that goes everywhere you go.

2. LabCorp  Laboratory Corp. of America Holdings will let customers go online to pay for tests, visit a service center to get blood drawn, then view the results on the Web. The company has already been doing back-office lab work for a number of Internet firms that let people order up tests without a doctor. This means you can take your lab results and compare them with the basic readings online and have a diagnosis.






LAW
Lawyers who have long maintained that “a computer will never be able to do what a lawyer does” are on the verge of being proven wrong. 

1. Neota Logic- is among the first of what looks to be the future of automated systems in the law: an “expert application.” Neota is essentially an applied knowledge management system: it automates lawyers’ knowledge and expertise to create step-by-step processes for solving low- and medium-grade regulatory, compliance and advisory problems. Neota users log in to the system and enter the relevant data on the specific regulatory or compliance issue facing them; the system prompts them to answer a sequence of questions based on the data it’s receiving. Based on those responses and drawing from a deep collection of expert knowledge acquired from both lawyers and databases, Neota chooses the correct paths through the thicket of possible choices and arrives at the same result that an expert lawyer would have reached. No more charge and bail (covers face).

2. KIIAC systems - automates the entire contract life cycle in order to significantly reduce template creation and maintenance costs. The KIIAC system can (a) analyze any set of agreements from public sources such as EDGAR or SEDAR, law firms and corporate legal departments, (b) deconstruct those contracts into their component clauses, and (c) analyze each extract for common occurrences of words and phrases. This includes both standard and “non-standard” (i.e., unique to that contract because it was negotiated for that particular situation) language, which the system highlights by rendering each in a different color and font.
I also read Australia and New York are experimenting with online court rooms, this may likely mean no more paying lawyers per sitting





ARCHITECTURE

3D Printers – do you know that you can print a full house in a month? I am not kidding oh!!!!. The rise in 3D printers have created a way by which you can put in the right proportions of the materials in the machine and position it, and it would print your bedroom, living room, dinning etc.

My take on all this is like in the 1980 when it was said technology will replace all farmers, it did not really replace farmers but instead it produced a different set of farmers, the skill set to be a farmer was more of a knowledge base than a doing skill, so my advice to you is this, no matter the career you are in, in the next few years your challenge is to grow the soft skills as they call them which include  (the cluster of personality traits, social graces, communication, language, personal habits, friendliness, managing people, leadership) because those are the only things we are sure technology can’t take from us.


Monday, 27 April 2015

WEEKEND GONE WRONG....

Someone sent in this story which I am about to share.
I moved out of my husband’s house to my friend’s place since the 2nd of December 2014.
Why you may ask? My friend visited me on the 29th of November 2014 as we had planned going to see to the movies that evening. I decided to go to the market first in order to stock up the house and also prepare something for my husband before 'girl's night out'.

We have been married for years now and we were still believing God for the fruit of the womb when the unfortunate incident happened.




Now my friend arrived earlier than scheduled and caught my husband making out with the house help. She made a scene and later called me up to fill me in. I drove down to the house, sent the girl packing and my friend helped me to pack few of my things.
I spent the weekend in her house in order to sort myself out. I saw my whole world crumbling before me. My friend offered me her house and even helped me pack what was left from my husband’s place.
Four months now and my friend’s house still doesn’t feel like home. She complains at every given opportunity and of a truth its quite inconveniencing especially when her male friends visits her. It’s a one bedroom apartment and she’s hoping to settle down soon. I also found out that she talks about my failed marriage to our friends and all who cares to listen. My husband has also visited severally to apologize.





Now I am confused, should I go back to my husband’s house? Even though I still can’t get myself to forgive him or should I just rent an apartment and move on with my life?

Phew!!!! I have asked myself what I would do if I was the friend ….i feel she’s just a tell tell on the other hand I think I will feel betrayed if she withheld such from me. If you are the friend, will you tell? Will you go back to your husband's house and try to make your marriage work?



Left for me, i believe she can still make her marriage work; between the nights are cold nowadays. 

Sunday, 26 April 2015

FINDING HOPE


We are not very different from animals, in the sense that we have the same basic instincts and reactions, it is a known fact that when animals are subjected to conditions they cannot control they tend to stop trying to break free and they learn how to live under that perceived cloud.

Human beings are not very different from animals in that vein in the sense that when we face situations that we cannot change, we shift and become the victim. If we experience repeated defeats we think we are failures, and if we experience a terrifying situation we become scared. You self-confidence is gone, and you even question your self-worth. When you pass by a store and see those priced jewelry you cant see yourself wearing them, you see that house as you drive to work and you cant picture yourself as the landlord. We become hopeless. 
This state of hopelessness can be seen in your desire to stay with an abusive partner, or a wicked and selfish boss, giving up on your desire to chase your dreams, or letting the Nigerian factor of mediocrity infuse your spirit. Actions of hopelessness might also be subtle as eating in an unhealthy way or accepting your current standard of living as the best you can deserve.
When you dont have hope, you dont have motivation, in simple words, you are no longer living but existing. The fire to conquer your world and environment has left you, that spark you had a child has been put out by experiences, the words "I CANT DO IT" is now your slogan, the word IMMPOSIBLE becomes your residential address. The sad thing is that if you continue in this state, this is all you will ever be, if you have no HOPE then CHANGE is practically impossible.

So how can you find HOPE

1.       Turn to your faith- I cant stress this point enough, as you can see its my number one point, it is impossible to find hope outside God. The pages of the scripture will always offer you comfort in times of hopelessness, despair and trauma. The idea that there is a God who loves and looks after you gives you courage in times of need. Following hard after your faith is something we all need to keep our hope alive

2.       Have mentors and role models this point is always emphasized in seminars and gatherings but yet most people always neglect it. The benefits of having a role model and mentor in your life are massive, this people are not your just your friends, they are people you look up to, people you submit your choices too and give them the right and permission to question your decisions. People who have been where you are or what you are going through and came out on the other side.( tomorrow I will be writing on the difference between role model and mentors and how to pick them)
3.       Live in an atmosphere of love and encouragement  staying around people who are always pulling you down, putting your failures before you, reminding you of your short comings, and not encouraging your effort is draining and negative. its like swimming across the tide, even if you make it to the other side you wont have strength left, this is why your friends and the company you keep is very important. If you are the one that is always being negative and discouraging stop it!!! if its your friend(s) or partner then talk to him and ask him to please stop. I read somewhere that you need 7 positive comments to counter 1 negative comment (negativity is not easy to counter so avoid it). Changing your circle of friends or the company you keep can help you keep hope alive so stay positive and full of hope.
4.       Read Read Read exposing your mind to others who have had similar challenges in their life and battled through them gives you a boost of energy and hope. Read books, autobiographies, blogs and magazines to keep your mind fueled with enough information for rough time. Life is not a straight road, it has its ups and downs and knowing what to do during those down moments is often the difference between bouncing back up and staying down there
5.       Finally be patient with yourself we live in a time where everyone expects speed in everything, we want to read one book or attend one seminar and Bam!!!  We are transformed to the perfect image of ourselves, but that will not happen. You can buy an already made food but you cannot buy an already made DELICIOUS food, if you want a delicious life then you need to spend time in the kitchen and cook yourself into the perfect picture you want yourself to be. Celebrate little success, take it one day at a time and encourage yourself and in no time you will be close to that ideal image you have.
So those are the tips I can offer, turn to your faith, find people who can direct you, people who can encourage you and read up on people who have gone ahead of you. Do well to keep hope alive and you will achieve your dream(s).