Saturday 13 June 2015

"People Always Leave"

It took me time to realize what Peyton meant by that statement in the movie One Tree Hill, but the truth is that any how you choose to look at it, People Always Leave. Everyone must not be in your life and if you ask me I will advice you let them leave when they choose to. People can be likened to seasons and just like each season comes and goes, so do people come and leave your life.
   

Why Do People Always Leave?

1. Lack of appreciation
    Real friends appreciate one another, the efforts made by their partner. Lack of the other party to show appreciation  makes the thing called friendship boring and when the person showing all these appreciation becomes tired of the whole situation, he or she will be left with no option than to leave.

2. Lack of trust and loyalty
    Trust is very hard to gain and so easy to loose. In a real friendship, support and loyalty must be reciprocal. As humans we all have feelings and it hurts when the person you cherish so much, call your friend, or want to spend the rest of your life with is neither loyal nor trustworthy. In this scenario the person hurting will have no option than to leave. Lady Gaga once said 'Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in the person's reflection" .

3. We expect too much from people
    As humans we expect a lot from people, we expect them to be at our beck and call, cater for us, do whatever we want and the sad part is that most people do not do anything in return. They are always at the receiving end. Even the greatest fool will someday come back to his or her senses and will be left with no option than to stop showing all these kindness. What else is left of the expectant person than just to leave and find another servant.

4. Too much Pain.
    Nobody loves to be in pain. There are lots of divorce cases in court and when you carefully look at the facts of the case you will see such much pain in black and white. When the 80% of what makes up friendship is filled with so much pain and agony, the first to be broken will definitely leave. It is so hard to forget pain as we do not have scar to show for happiness but I will advise anyone that leaves because of this reason to turn his or her wounds into wisdom.

5. No satisfaction
    Recently a court in Lagos dissolved a nine years old marriage over husband's ability to satisfy his wife (http://elitism6.blogspot.com/2015/06/read-why-this-woman-is-divorcing-her.html). Now there should be some level of satisfaction in every friendship and when that hunger cannot be satisfied, the unsatisfied party will be left with no choice than to leave. It takes a satisfied customer nothing to help advertise your product; without that sense of satisfaction they will never patronize you again.

6. Fear of the unknown
    This is the one reason why friends who are in love with each other will end up parting ways. Most people leave because they do not know how the other person will react when they pour their hearts out. To me this is the most silly reason to leave, try and let it be that you were rejected and only then will you be able to leave freely.

There maybe many other reason why people leave a relationship,union or community, but the major reason for my blog today is to make you have the resilience to move on if they do, the same God that brought them your way, i am sure is working behind the scene to fill the void, either he fills it with someone else or like the prodigal son He brings them back to you.














Thursday 11 June 2015

Phone Battery Myths

It is clear that with the rise in demands placed on phones, battery life is becoming of paramount importance, and not to talk of the poor light situation in my country. Last two weeks a lady died because she was electrocuted by her power bank and this sad event has caused me to do a little research on the popular batter myths and the ones you should apply for longer batter life.

1. Over charging your phone is bad ( true/false)
Most people will plug there phones and sleep up leading to the phone still charging one hour or more after it is full. Research shows that even though most smart phones are smart meaning they can tell you when to stop charging the phone because the battery id full, most are not efficient enough to withstand the extra heat which is not good for your phone and battery. So it is TRUE that overcharging your phone will kill your battery probably for over heating.

2. Charger is Charger(true or false)
Different chargers are made for different purposes, and are built for different purposes, using a multi purpose charger is not a good idea for your phone because they are built to allow a non specific range of power to your device, and also most are prone to power surge due to low material used in manufacturing. Unless it is very necessary please avoid universal chargers.  So it is FALSE that charger is charger (follow come dey, different from chinco).






3. Whats app Kills my battery
Most people are complaining of the multiple groups they find them selves on social network, and the common thinking is that it is killing your battery. A whats-app chat does not take more battery than your Facebook chat, BBM or any app on your phone that is accessing your network, the extra battery usage is if it is on vibration, or you now go ahead to reply the chats so your screen light is on. Asides that , extra messages do not drain your battery faster. So it is false that whats-app drains your battery more. If you want to save battery off your data SIMPLE.

4. Batteries function better between 40% - 80%
There are two schools of thought on this myth, but they all agree that charging a battery to full capacity might not be very good for some long scientific reasons. So the best option is to carry your charger around, but the risk in it is that some believe that a battery has a limited number of charges built into it, some say it is between 1500 - 2500 charges. Now the million dollar question is this, which is better a full 100% charge or charge for 80% then another 20% later? With 100% charge you get to manage it till it runs out, therefore reducing the number of charges, but to charge 80% and another 20% later in the day means you get to charge more. (Abeg i need another school of thought on this one ooooo).

5. Using your phone while charging will spoil it
Using your phone while charging will not spoil your battery but it will surly make the charging process longer which in turn might lead to over heating depending on what you are doing on the phone.Again this depends on what you do with the phone as it charges. So it is PARTIALLY TRUE that using your phone while its charging will spoil it.

6. Do not charge your phone with generator
This is very difficult in my country, but then the reason is simple, most Generators fluctuate and those fluctuations can affect both the phone and the battery negatively. So it is better to avoid it but if you must, use the original charger for the phone as this can help cushion the damage. Cars also run on alternating current which also fluctuates a lot so also avoid car chargers they are not good for your batteries. Though this myth is TRUE but that's none of our business in this country (sips tea like Kermit)

7. Task manager don't work
The purpose of having a task manager app on your device is to help you run your phone efficiently, in the sense that when you leave various apps open it quickly helps shut them down to help save power. So Yes Task manager works, but it if it is not a good one then SORRY is your middle name.

As you can see I am not a geek , but I have tried to explain these myths in a layman's way so that people will take proper care of their phones. Spending a leg and a foot to buy a phone and then spoiling it because of ignorance is bad.
Feel free to add more myths to the comment section.

Tuesday 9 June 2015

DOMESTIC APPRECIATION

Lately there has been a surge in miss-deeds by domestic helps, you hear cases of house helps kidnapping the children they had sworn to protect, cater for and help train; you see drivers connive with armed robbers to steal from their bosses. Although this is not a new thing, it is safe to say that the rate of occurrence has greatly increased in recent times.

                   


What changed actually?

We changed! By we, I mean the employers of labour. In the early days when the reason for domestic help was not just economic gains but partial adoption into the family, there was a greater level of commitment from the domestic helps. When they are taken in by their bosses, they are fed, clothed and treated like a part of the family.  They are sent to good schools or to skill acquisition centers to ensure they get adequately trained. By the time the domestic help is ready to leave, they have acquired enough education or training to make something out of their lives, there is thus limited envy and strife towards the host family. Today, things have changed.

We have stopped genuinely appreciating the services rendered by our domestic help. We look down on them as lesser people, treat them with disdain and when in public we are ashamed of them. We neither send them to good schools nor train them because that interferes with the purpose for which they have been hired. We forget that on a daily basis, we leave these helps with our most prized possessions, our children! Our domestic helps in most cases, wake up before we do, prepare our children for school, pack their lunch boxes, clean the house, do the laundry, prepare their lunch, feed them, help with their homework, play with them, bath them and get them ready for bed.  In exchange they are paid peanuts which cannot in anyway contribute significantly to creating a better life for them. Every day they look at our family and are reminded of the life they will never have. 

They begin to wonder, “if it’s just money am doing this for and I’m not even being paid well, why not look for a faster way to get this money”

         


How do we give intrinsic motivation?

It’s a known fact that intrinsic motivations are more powerful than extrinsic motivation but yet our domestic helps are offered only extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is simple and only requires a genuine appreciation of the effort our domestic helps put into making our lives easier. Treating them like you would your own kids, simple words of appreciation like, I love the way you sweep the home, thank you for helping junior with his assignment. When you buy things you share with them. A hug when necessary and a loving scold where necessary, do your best to take care of them so that you’ll be proud of them when you go out with them.


So take a step back today, say something good to that domestic help around you. This applies not only to the house helps but our drivers, the gateman at work, or the woman that sweeps your office. It gives them something money can’t buy and helps them look out for your own interest.


Monday 8 June 2015

Jungle JUSTICE is NO JUSTICE



I saw this crowd gathered and I tried to peep to know what the matter was. Behold i saw a young boy stripping off his clothes in the crowd while some were screaming ole others were busy beating him. To my amazement, there was a uniformed man present and happily watching.
Jungle justice has been prevalent in our country and instead of handing the person to the law enforcement agencies, citizens take matters into their hands which to me is very wrong.
Now in this scenario there was a law enforcement agent present and yet he stood and did nothing. Probably because he has not seen blood yet and the crowd happened to be ,more civilized than other worse scenarios.



I once read of how a woman suspected to be a Boko Haram suicide bomber was lynched in Bauchi State on the suspicion that she wanted to detonate a bomb at a market in the city. It later turned out that the woman was a mentally disturbed lady that was killed on mere suspicion.
I also have not forgotten the brutal killing of four University of Port Harcourt students by a community in Rivers State. The young boys had allegedly gone to one of their friends in the town to collect a debt owed one of them when the debtor turned on them, screaming that they were robbers.
The mob did not ask questions, neither did they hand over the boys to the police. They beat them up, striped them naked and killed them.



Now I believe today's case was not violent because of the presence of the uniformed man but I also think it was evil of them telling him to strip. You cannot be the judge and the jury at the same time.
I am of the opinion that jungle justice should be outlawed in this country. Perpetrators of such evil deeds should be made to face the wrath of the law but sadly nothing positive has come out of the case of those Four students.  Sadly the Ejigbo pepper sodomy and murder case, popularly known as Ejigbo 3 which occured in Febuary 2013 is still lingering and the accused persons fate not yet decided after all these years.
On the other hand you also understand why the citizens have given up on our judicial system and have decided to take matters into their own hands. One might even give up the ghost waiting for justice.
Nevertheless, i still maintain that Jungle justice is no justice at all but the only way we can stop it is to restore the faith of the citizens, create a better interaction with law enforcement agencies so that issues like paying money to lodge an official compliant is removed, basic human rights are respected and speedy fair hearing is giving to all.







Sunday 7 June 2015

Money Mistakes....

Most people hardly let anyone talk to them about their money, in fact most men see it as an insult on their very fragile ego and most ladies have this feeling that money will always somehow be there when you need it. But in reality we all need to always talk about money and make smart decisions about it.
To talk about money does not mean to start living in frugality and passing all the good things life has to offer. It just simply means knowing fully well what and how to play the money game, it’s always about the Benjamins.
Money mistakes are mistakes we often make in life. At the point of execution it feels so good but few years down the line we will be glad to ask someone to slap us for being so foolish.

Here are a few of those mistakes
1. Failing to set financial goals – I know I am a culprit of this one, sometimes we are so caught up with immediate things that the ability to look up and dream big becomes so difficult. We are all expected to set financial goals. The act of goal setting is something that is so crucial as the world is on a fast lane and before you know it, you are 50 and you are still struggling, so set out time and set that goal. Make sure the goal inspires you.
          
2. Not saving – most people will always give you the excuse that they don’t save because they don’t make enough, but that is a fools excuse because saving is always possible no matter how little you earn or make. It is always about discipline.  The law of money called the Parkinson’s law states that need will always rise to meet money, simply put if you are waiting for more money to come before you save, when that money comes it will also come with more needs. So break that pattern and start saving

3. Buying what you can’t afford to maintain – this is a very delicate ground and I will try to trade carefully.  Amongst everything we know about money, I am sure everyone knows this but still they fall prey to it because most people fail to understand that the cost of anything is not just the initial price. The initial cost of anything we buy is just the entry door to a constant world of spending, so check if you can handle the extra cost the thing brings, instead invest the money till you are sure the extra cost wont drain you much.
              
4. Keeping up with my neighbor – the fact we are humans means the urge to compete is strongly enshrined in our everyday life, but as someone who is looking to live a better and more fulfilling life you have to constantly remind yourself that you are not in competition with anyone. The only competition is with yourself to be a better you than you were yesterday. That your friend got a brand new car does not mean you can’t go and buy a fairly used car. That you don’t have it today does not mean you can’t have it tomorrow, so take a chill pill, you are not in competition with anyone. Just be your self because there is enough space in this world for every sheep to graze in.

5. Borrowing for liabilities – The urge to keep up with life sometimes makes us push our limit so far that borrowing is the the option.  I am not against borrowing for an asset but borrowing for liability is just not a cool. The thing with this is that it grows on you, the fact you have done it in time past and successfully paid off the debt encourages you to try again. But it is not a cool plan. Learn to live within your means and be content with what you have.

6. Trusting other people to take care of your finance– I can’t stress this enough, do not trust anyone blindly with your finance , yes there are exceptions to the rule but it is only an exception. Make sure you have full control over your accounts, if you are investing with an asset management company please ask questions and keep an eye on your money, if you are buying treasure bills and Bonds please make sure what your banker tells you has hard evidence to it. Please this money was hard to earn don’t let your laziness make you lose it.
     
    
7. Going into debt for a wedding – ladies, I know you have been dreaming about this wedding since your aunty used you as her little angel on her wedding day. You have imagined and dreamt of that perfect wedding in your mind and everything must go according to plan. The only problem with that picture is that it has no Naira sign to it, if you actually saw the Naira sign to that dream wedding I am sure you will reconsider. What will it profit a man to spend all his money on that dream wedding and soak Garri for years after that one day? This is not ideal in anyway, so Please if you two can’t afford the dream wedding wait till you can or better still make it beautiful, beauty has nothing to do with money.

Finally our hearts and prayers are with the people of Ghana in these trying times. May God find a way to console those that have lost their loved ones and heal the land In Jesus Name... Amen.