Saturday, 16 May 2015


I had a busy day yesterday , spent countless hours in court trying to do what i am paid for, hassled through the traffic to get home  and was too tired to even make dinner so I just got food from a restaurant and headed straight for the sheets.

It was almost 9pm, I  wanted to doze of immediately so I could get enough rest since today is Saturday and I had lots of house chores lined up. As i lay in bed twisting and turning plus the hot weather. 12am, I am still wide awake, sleep has deserted me and my eyes has refused to shut down. Oh sleep where at thou!!!

I know we have all been disappointed by our first love (aka SLEEP) in times when we needed it the most, so that got me thinking how can I always make myself sleep when I want to, and this are the steps I came up with

Eat early

We all know that if you are too full, your body will not agree to shut down immediately and even if it does , it will later lead to pot belle because we shut down metabolism early to get some rest. For the basic foods you eat you should know their approximate digestion time Eg, protein usually takes about 3 hours to digest and carbohydrates takes about 2 hours depending on the type of protein or carbohydrate you eat, but also note that the full process of digestion and absorption is about 7 hours for almost all foods. My advice minimum of 2 hours before you sleep will work wonders for you

Have a bath

This is a bit of a routine for most of us because we do it regularly before we sleep, in hot times you should prefer a cold bath, and in cold times a warm bath will do. Please this is not for the lady’s alone men should also try it, it is a known research that a hot shower before you sleep help open nasal passages and therefore helps with snoring. Drag him to the bathroom if you have to.

Sleep with less cloths

I know where your mind is going, but bring it back. I am not the one that did the research but it is a fact so you should try it, sleeping naked has many health benefits I would just list a few,
If your body can’t release the heat because of heavy pajamas or wrapper, you are more likely to suffer from insomnia, because your core won’t be able to release the heat. Sleeping naked allows the heat to release more quickly, and helps you fall asleep faster.
Airing out the skin all over your body, especially in areas like your feet, armpits, and genitals, means a lowered risk for skin diseases like athlete’s foot, which result from wet, restricted skin!
It is also believed that naked sleepers have a longer and deeper sleep.
Oh well beware of rats and cockroaches,  so best option maintain a clean room,  personal hygiene works wonders.

Kill the Lights

Darkness helps your body start to produce hormones that make you sleep, having the television on, or staring at your tablet or phone is hardly a routine that will make you sleep, for security reasons I will say do not switch it off, but you can mute all messages and leave the call setting on, but if you have stalkers then switch it off totally.

Understand your sleeping routine

Some of us like to use pillows some don’t, if you use pillows use a pillow that is not too thin or too wide, because pillows help support your neck and head when you sleep, but then there are different types of pillows for different sleeping positions and different seasons, for example, a pillow that is made of silk is a very poor choice for summer because it will retain heat. Etc. know positions that quickly get you into the sleep zone and use them often.

Some people use soft music to get into the sleep zone and some use a voice in the background, I know a friend who when he can’t sleep turns on CNN, he said the voices makes him doze off, funny right, but whatever routine works for you identify it and know when you can use it.

Finally I found out that if your lack of sleep is chronic you need to see a sleep Doctor, yeah you heard me right, SLEEP DOCTOR, apparently there are doctors that just treat sleep disorder. Last night I did not know all these, if I had am sure I would have tweaked one or two things to get my beauty sleep.

Thursday, 14 May 2015


                             Little Girl Covering Ears 
I am yet to meet someone who has become perfect at the skill of accepting criticism. It is a skill that is very valuable in any form of relationship, be it romantic or work based relationship. Most of us find this very hard to handle and in turn make people define us as a difficult person. Whether you are new at a Job, or you are learning a skill, or you’re getting to know your partner, there is always that possibility that you will screw up and make mistakes and when these mistakes are addressed we all tend to pull out our bulletproof vest and our arsenal to make sure even if we don’t win at least we don’t lose. That is a bad way to face the situation, criticisms are part of life and one we should learn how to handle.

Now there are two types of criticism, constructive and destructive. In plain terms the only difference is on how the criticism is offered, if it is offered in the bad way, tone of voice and choice of words it turns to destructive, Constructive criticism, on the other hand, is designed to point out your mistakes, but also show you where and how improvements can be made, but for today we will be dealing on how to handle criticism not how to give constructive criticism.

This is the major reason why most people are defensive and apprehensive towards criticism, if you can look around and name one perfect person in your life then you are not being honest to yourself, our imperfections are areas we will always seek to improve on. There are no perfect beings so accept that you can make a mistake, accept you have much to learn, approach life as a student with the view that any man can teach you.

The reason you almost react like someone is breaking down your door when you are criticized is because you are thinking with your heart not your brain, you feel your ego has been reduced to tatters and you need to react. For a second pause and think try to focus on the message and its intention to help you instead of focusing on all of the "mean" or "hurtful" things that were said to you. Let your emotions pass through your brain before they come out of your mouth.

Most times we take criticism as a personal attack to our image, eg your boss says you have not been productive but what you hear is, I am lazy and the bad luck he is having. Try to understand the point they are trying to make. It was never about you as a person it was more of a comment on the actions.

For a moment be honest with yourself, you know you are better than this. This is not the best you can be, so stop blaming your Ex for making you care less, or blaming your former boss for making you less productive. Life is always about you giving your best at any particular time and your drive for excellence in all you, failures will always find excuses.

       We have heard the comment made about you, you did not react emotionally as you received the comment, you understood what was being said, you gleaned the wisdom in the comment and you understood you are human that you can make mistakes. You have apologized the next step is to actively seek to improve on that action that is being criticized, if you have been told you are not productive at work, start by increasing how long you spend at work, cross check all the task you are told to do, to be sure there is no error, provide additional detail to every task assigned to you. Talk and address people in the appropriate manner. This are examples of things you can do to address you your short comings.

Constructive criticism is the food of champions, because it makes them Grow mentally; then you see the short comings of your paradigm and work on them, makes you grow emotionally because you learn how to be selfless. It helps you grow in self-confidence also because your insecurities will be exposed and you will be able to work on them, the benefits of constructive criticism is too may to mention.
 But remember we can’t control what other people will say to us, whether they’ll approve or form opinions and share them. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and learn from it and move on

Wednesday, 13 May 2015


Hi Oyidiya, first of all i want to commend you on your blog. God bless you as you keep bringing information to our doorstep.
I recently read your post on Mr and Mrs Smith telling us the pros and cons in marrying someone in the same profession. I tried commenting but it refused to upload so i thought it wise to share my story via this email.
I understand what you mean by saying marrying someone in the same profession helps keep the conversation alive, spend quality time and aids in understanding your partner but I feel all these are applicable at the early years of marriage or i should just ask why my own is different because it doesn't apply in my marriage at least not any longer.

I am a Lawyer likewise my wife and we have been married for over 15 years now with 3 children. We have our firm which we are both partners of the firm but i am the one that runs the firm as i cannot remember the last time my wife came to work. Don't get me wrong her absence is not a problem to me in fact I even like it like that because any day or time she visits, drama always follows suit.

For more than 2 years now i have been enduring my marriage because things are no longer as it used to be. I literally spend most of the day at work all because I can no longer contend with her level of nagging at home. And as a human being that i am who has needs that she has refused to attend to, I have decided to seek solace else where and with other people and that she also knows.

Well to cut the long story short, let me just narrate the recent incident. My wife came to the office last week along side her drama. We had series of argument in the office meanwhile this was during working hours and my employees were still around. She left the house just to come and tell me that the stain she saw on my white shirt could not be ordinary dust but brown powder. She started screaming on top of her voice just because i warned her never to bring family issues to my work place again especially during working hours and walked her out of my office. She stood in front of the office raining curses on me and continued same as she walked down the street. The insults were becoming unbearable and I decided to run after her and caution her. I caught up with her at the junction and mid way into pouring my heart out, I was silenced by her heavy slap.
Now this is not the first time i am receiving slap from her but this is the first time it is happening in public and I can no longer tolerate her any more.

Well i decided to share this story because I have experienced that it is tough marrying your profession especially if the profession is Law. I have been embarrassed severally by this same woman and I am tired. I was taught never to hit a woman but at this stage i might be forced to or better still throw her out of my life or I need better ways to sort my self out of this mess. Thank you.
                                Image result for images of couples fighting

Personally I am not not a fan of anyone that hits a woman neither do i encourage divorce unless the marriage has broken down irretrievably. So permit me to sit this one out as i honestly want to hear your views.

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Fatal Fumes

I recently read a story about a 54-year-old Abia State-born Prophet, Onyenonachi Ihezukwu Agwu, who was found dead in his four-room apartment alongside his wife, 2 children and the landlady. Three dead  chicken were also found  close to the bathroom of the bungalow.

The probable cause of death as stated by the Police was the generating set which they left on. The generating set which was bought three days before their death was found along the passage, inside the bungalow and the policemen were the ones that put it off. The police suspected that the victims to have died from excessive inhaling of carbon monoxide produced by the generator.
Now my first reaction was to blame the Government, PHCN and their epileptic power supply. I thought to myself if there is consistent Light in this country, I am sure that the late prophet and his family would have lived to die another day.  On the other hand, no matter how many hours I spend blaming the PHCN and the Government; these lives can never be brought back to life.
Secondly I thought to myself how people will sleep under the same roof with their generating set on and that was when it dawned on me that it is either most of us are still not enlightened on the dangers of inhaling Carbon monoxide which a generating set produces or we are just careless and thinks nothing will happen, this careless attitude is always the bane of many to thread on ignorance.

lack of enlightenment of the dangers of inhaling such and the callous attitude we have to things like this is why I have taken it upon myself to enlighten those that visit my blog peradventure they come across someone who needs to be properly informed.
Carbon monoxide is a deadly gas, which has no taste, odour or colour, making it extremely difficult to detect. This gas is responsible for many deaths all over the world, and it is associated with the incomplete burning of natural gas and carbon-relates material such as propane, coal, wood and kerosene.
It symptoms varies from person to another, but the common symptoms include Fatigue, headaches, dizziness, chest pain, loss of consciousness and lots more.
                           Student poster image

Inhaling CO can lead one to permanent brain and major organ damage amongst other things. The elderly, those with heart or lung problems, young children, animals, pregnant mothers and unborn babies are particularly susceptible to carbon monoxide poisoning, as are those that already have certain levels of CO in the blood, such as smokers or those exposed to carbon monoxide as an occupational hazard.
Tips to help with minimizing carbon monoxide exposure.

  • Check your appliances regularly for any leakage what so ever. There are many items and appliances within the home that can be the source of carbon monoxide pollution such fuel burning heaters, furnaces, water heaters, butane or gas heaters, stoves and gas ovens, central heating systems, and refrigerators. Using these appliances in poorly vented or enclosed spaces can increase the chances of carbon monoxide pollution.
  • If you stay in a small apartment, make sure you clean you gas cooker and stove burner regularly to minimize the amount of Carbon monoxide released. try to always cook with the blue flame coming from the stove or gas cooker they help reduce the amount of carbon monoxide you release. 
  • Don't not warm your car in the early morning with the exhaust pipes facing your home door, always try to let the fumes into a well ventilated space( this does not mean you should point it to your neighbor either)
  • I know you are a chef and you cook 5 star dishes, please do not grill and barbecue(bole and roasted yam, roasted corn etc) in a kitchen that is not ventilated properly
  • Fumes from generating set are fatal. It is a silent epidemic and painless killer as it can kill you without even you knowing of its presence. Never use your set in your house. It should be kept in a well ventilated environment and not even close to the window. Have other appliances fitted by professionals, regularly checked and cleaned as the case may be.

 It is so sad losing one to things that one could have easily avoided. Please tell your neighbor to tell his neighbor that exposure to CO kills silently. lets consciously try to stay alive.

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Hello MONDAY!!!

If you love what you do, you won’t have a problem with Monday, and anybody that hates Monday hates the rest of the week and only looks forward to Friday and pay day. That is why you start seeing TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) as most people’s personal messages from Thursday evening.
I believe I will be right to say that more than 40% of us hate our jobs but strive in order to be able to provide for ourselves and our loved ones.

Here are some of the reasons why most of us hate our jobs using Nigeria as a case study:-
1. Environment
Most employees find themselves in very unconducive environment and such affects ones level of productivity. How can you keep one in a small cubicle without even a fan to cool his or her head? Yet we expect the huge turnover from such person. No tea break, no leave and most of us are stuck in such places.

2. Value
Recognition breeds feelings of value and loyalty but unfortunately that doesn't matter to most employers..if people are not valued in an organisation they give there minimum effort, but if they are valued they give all they have and will bleed for the organisation.  Now recognition must not always be monetized, even mere words can lift your employee’s soul thereby urging him to do more, simple words like Your the best, Good Job, You just saved my Business go a long way in showing value .Where there is no value, there is no advancement. That is why someone will work for 5 years same salary same position. phew!!

3. Vision
Most of us don’t value the vision of an organization, we just work in order not to be idle and in the long run it becomes irritating. The vision and mission statement of an organization should align with what the employee wants. Dissatisfaction is bound to take place if your employees aren’t sold on the same things you are.  Reviews can help you checkmate your employees also hire people with same vision.Simon Sinek put it this way "if you don't buy into the WHY of an organisation you will never understand the WHAT of the  organisation".

4. Stipend
This is what most of us earn. At first we might feel ok because we just running away from joblessness but with time comes responsibilities and then frustration sets in. Nothing extinguishes passion quite like the feeling of being paid less than you deserve. Dear employers evaluate your employees salaries today. Ask for a raise, of course there is a balance, an employer will consider two factors in calculating your raise work productivity and net income. if this two are well in the black then you should ask for a raise.

5. Rules!! Rules!!! Rules!!!!
Nothing is more frustrating than being unable to make your own decisions or having to tread with caution while doing something. Give your employees the liberty of taking certain decisions themselves hereby helping them build their self confidence and room to accomplish goals. This establishes a healthy level of trust, productivity that will benefit both the employee and the company as a whole. One of the basic human needs is freedom, if you continual hover and force your employee to be a robot you will not get the best out of them. instead of giving rules give guidelines and let them do it there own way within the guideline.

6. Challenge
It is every employee’s passion to advance their skills and improve through their work where ever they find themselves (except the lazy ones who are just comfortable). A lack of meaningful, challenging work is certain to breed disdain and boredom. Challenge them with positively in order to make them better persons. Unfortunately most employers prefer hiding their knowledge and not teaching their employees so that they don’t become better than them.

7. Distance
The distance to work is killing especially those that reside in Lagos. It’s one thing to have a car and it’s another thing to control the traffic in order to make it to work on time. Imagine an employee that will have to wake up as early as 5am to prepare for work, jump buses and walk the rest only to get queried for coming 2minutes late to work. It’s frustrating. distance is a big factor in consdiering a Job especially if you live in a busy city, spending 2-3 hours in traffic can knock the Joy out of your day.

8. Boss
Some of us do have them as bosses, arrogant, abusive, hot tempered and a pain in the ass. Poor management can even ruin even the most passionate and well-paid employees even if they love their job. Most bosses are bad communicators and that sucks. A good boss should understand that the balance in work/life relationship will always affect employee output so should always try to be kind and firm, compassionate and demanding, professional and understanding. you are dealing with people not machines.
9. Family
a Job that makes you miss the birth of your child, of the first sweet words to part from your child lips, are frustrating, you ask yourself if i keep missing all this moments what am killing myself in this work for? if the job has become a barrier between you and the family you want to raise start an exit plan today and in time quit when you are sure you cant find a way to balance it.

12. Holidays
Most organizations are so mean that they don’t even observe holidays. Most urge their workers to work even on weekends and that is enough for one to detest his job. Work starts from 8am to 6pm, traffic keeps you till 10pm and the next day  it’s the same routine. Its killing, gives us the holidays due to us and like they say health is wealth and we need proper amount of rest to stay healthy and fit.

These are some of the reasons why most of us hate Mondays aka our job but due to the rate of joblessness in this country my humble advice is that you find a way through these challenges. There must be something you will find to love about Monday even if it’s to see your colleagues again or see it as step in direction to your bigger dreams. finally start today to create your exit plan from a Job that is draining all the positivity in your life. I can understand you doing it for a time but not for too long, life is too short to dwell in unhappiness. develop an exit plan and start working towards it


Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Like the popular movie in 2005 Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Marrying someone in the same profession is very common as relationships are generally built amongst like-minded people. While some believe that it is a building block for a successful marriage, many argue that same profession can actually turn your marriage into a battlefield. Listed below are some pros and cons that will help you make a better decision.


We understand ourselves

Erratic shift timings and work pressure are some of the salient features of every professional career. When in the same profession, the level of understanding is often much higher. As both partners are on the same career ship, there is no room for clarifications or explanations on things like overtime, extended shifts, or midnight emergencies.  And we all know that understanding is one of the key ingredients of a successful marriage. Once you call or text for a work excuse you don’t have to start explaining super story for your partner to understand.

Keep the conversation alive

Even though it is mostly advised that discussions related to work should not come home, just imagine how wonderful it would be to always have something to talk about, boring days are over. A healthy conversation related to lawsuits, medical cases, product design or angry customer, is more interesting with a partner in same profession. You avoid the ‘stupid’ questions your partner might ask when they are lost.

 More time together

Often, working couples complain that they don’t get to spend enough time together. Either their work timings do not meet or they are too tired and stressed after work hours. But, if both partners are in the same profession, it can help you create time for yourself. You can meet up during lunch or tea breaks, even going to work and back home together can give you time to catch up with each other.



Financial insecurity

One of the major disadvantages of marrying someone in the same profession is financial crises. In case of recession or change in the market, if a particular profession is badly hit, it can lead to unavoidable circumstances. Imagine if the government wakes up and passes a bill that hits your profession badly, the family is in a bad place, diversified income is always a good thing

Race against each other

In this competitive job market, people already race against each other to meet their desired goals and targets. To have your partner as one of the participants in that race can lead to unnecessary jealousy and competitiveness. Most people believe that when you are in the same profession you both can’t be superstars because the sacrifices are the same so one has to propel the other. Would you like to reach a desired goal at the cost of “happy marriage?”

Blurred lines

Because you both are in the same profession sometimes you experience blurred lines between work and home, you carry things over from work and in doing so sometimes miss out on other things that your partner might want to do, and you will trade romance and cuddling for work talk and analyzing. These blurred lines might lead to boredom.

I think it really depends on the people involved, their personalities and what the profession is and if they have to work together. The world today is tough and full of stress for owners and employees alike, it is difficult to be in a stressful environment with your spouse all day long and then go home to face the additional stresses that family life can bring.
Do let us know your opinion on this through comments. Would you be interested in marrying someone in the same profession?