Saturday, 1 July 2017
So I just finished reading 'The Life and Times of Bimbo Odukoya' written by Pastor Taiwo Odukoya and I just thought it wise to share the courtship tips on respect with my own little comment in italics;
1. Do not let the relationship move too fast in its infancy- the phrase 'not too hot, not too cool' has validity.
Personally, I don't understand his definition of 'too fast' but often times, we meet people and somehow it seems we have known them all our lives and you just like that the friendship progresses to another level
2. Do not discuss your personal inadequacies and flaws in great detail when the relationship is new.
This is one aspect of his tips that I keep failing come tomorrow because personally when asked who I am you only get to hear of my flaws from me and if its something you think you can deal with or help me work on then I will totally appreciate if not then farewell is inorder.
3.Remember that respect precedes love, build it stone by stone.
I can NEVER fault this tip. Respect is key!!! It helps curtail a lot of misunderstandings in the nearest future. It should also not be one sided as I believe Respect is Reciprocal.
4. Don't call too often or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you.
In as much as I agree to a reasonable extent, I also believe Communication is key to every relationship. To me, there is nothing like too much call as most times the recipient might even be preoccupied to receive the call and in such scenario, a text will suffice. There is nothing as refreshing, sexy and encouraging as getting a message from your partner letting you in on his or her itinerary every day. It also gets to show that despite his or her busy schedule you are in his or her 'thought-process' lol!!
5. Don't be too quick to reveal your desire to get married.
Like my friends will always say 'Marriage is not for everybody' so first settle with your creator if it's for you, it will definitely come..'Delay is not denial' as God's time is the best. Be calm in order not to rush out the way you rushed in. Above all such 'quick revelation might scare the other person away from you.
6. Relationships are constantly being tested by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook.
Hmmmm! I don't even like all these 'tests' just kuku purchase 'the bait' wholesale and you can 'nibble' away
7. Do not expect anyone to meet all your emotional needs.
YES, I TOTALLY AGREE!!! We need to learn to be our number one cheerleader likewise take control of our emotions, needs to a reasonable extent. You can't always rely on another person, many have done that and have come back crushed and if you think I am lying ask Adele.
8. Guard against selfishness in your love affair; neither the woman nor the man should do all the giving.
There is love in sharing which includes the responsibilities, showing love and affections etc Generally this life is 'a give and take something' Do not expect to receive from the other person when you have not given anything.
9. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential spouse is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, selfish etc
If you are like me, you will see everything as a sign from not calling, not replying messages or not even returning them (well these might not be seen as being disloyal to some people but if you are loyal to what you have with someone, you should be able to keep them abreast of everything) To me it is a big deal.
10. Don't marry the person you think you can live with, marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
So true...One you are inadequate without him or her.