We are not very different from animals, in the sense that we have the same basic instincts and reactions, it is a known fact that when animals are subjected to conditions they cannot control they tend to stop trying to break free and they learn how to live under that perceived cloud.
Human beings are not very different from animals in that vein in the sense that when we face situations that we cannot change, we shift and become the victim. If we experience repeated defeats we think we are failures, and if we experience a terrifying situation we become scared. You self-confidence is gone, and you even question your self-worth. When you pass by a store and see those priced jewelry you can’t see yourself wearing them, you see that house as you drive to work and you can’t picture yourself as the landlord. We become hopeless.
This state of hopelessness can be seen in your desire to stay with an abusive partner, or a wicked and selfish boss, giving up on your desire to chase your dreams, or letting the Nigerian factor of mediocrity infuse your spirit. Actions of hopelessness might also be subtle as eating in an unhealthy way or accepting your current standard of living as the best you can deserve.
When you don’t have hope, you don’t have motivation, in simple words, you are no longer living but existing. The fire to conquer your world and environment has left you, that spark you had a child has been put out by experiences, the words "I CANT DO IT" is now your slogan, the word IMMPOSIBLE becomes your residential address. The sad thing is that if you continue in this state, this is all you will ever be, if you have no HOPE then CHANGE is practically impossible.
So how can you find HOPE
1. Turn to your faith- I can’t stress this point enough, as you can see it’s my number one point, it is impossible to find hope outside God. The pages of the scripture will always offer you comfort in times of hopelessness, despair and trauma. The idea that there is a God who loves and looks after you gives you courage in times of need. Following hard after your faith is something we all need to keep our hope alive
2. Have mentors and role models – this point is always emphasized in seminars and gatherings but yet most people always neglect it. The benefits of having a role model and mentor in your life are massive, this people are not your just your friends, they are people you look up to, people you submit your choices too and give them the right and permission to question your decisions. People who have been where you are or what you are going through and came out on the other side.( tomorrow I will be writing on the difference between role model and mentors and how to pick them)
3. Live in an atmosphere of love and encouragement – staying around people who are always pulling you down, putting your failures before you, reminding you of your short comings, and not encouraging your effort is draining and negative. it’s like swimming across the tide, even if you make it to the other side you won’t have strength left, this is why your friends and the company you keep is very important. If you are the one that is always being negative and discouraging stop it!!! if it’s your friend(s) or partner then talk to him and ask him to please stop. I read somewhere that you need 7 positive comments to counter 1 negative comment (negativity is not easy to counter so avoid it). Changing your circle of friends or the company you keep can help you keep hope alive so stay positive and full of hope.
4. Read Read Read – exposing your mind to others who have had similar challenges in their life and battled through them gives you a boost of energy and hope. Read books, autobiographies, blogs and magazines to keep your mind fueled with enough information for rough time. Life is not a straight road, it has its ups and downs and knowing what to do during those down moments is often the difference between bouncing back up and staying down there
5. Finally be patient with yourself – we live in a time where everyone expects speed in everything, we want to read one book or attend one seminar and Bam!!! We are transformed to the perfect image of ourselves, but that will not happen. You can buy an already made food but you cannot buy an already made DELICIOUS food, if you want a delicious life then you need to spend time in the kitchen and cook yourself into the perfect picture you want yourself to be. Celebrate little success, take it one day at a time and encourage yourself and in no time you will be close to that ideal image you have.
So those are the tips I can offer, turn to your faith, find people who can direct you, people who can encourage you and read up on people who have gone ahead of you. Do well to keep hope alive and you will achieve your dream(s).