Yesterday I wrote a piece about a friend which I felt would help many people and in turn it did. Got many replies telling me the post helped them a lot, those of you that sent your comments through BBm, Whatsapp and Google hangout, please put the comment on the comment box they could help someone out there trust me.
A reader who has allowed me to mention his pseudo name ICON ONE, sent me a long email, asking me to tell him how to get his EX back, because he is still in love with her and even though she left him he believes he is right for her.
This is how I want to approach this, before I write on how to get your ex back I want to address the real issue first which is Are YOU SURE YOU SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER?
I know this feeling trust me, when we break up with someone or they leave us, we have this post break up disease that feels like a hole in our hearts. Someone once described it as SHE felt naked without her man, funny but true. So here are the hard questions you should ask yourself
1. Is it to just to win – most times you did not see the break up, so you are totally caught unawares. Did he/she just leave me?, I have to get her back. Not because you want her but because you want to prove to yourself that they still need you and in turn you want to hurt them back. To solve this, try and make a pros and cons list, be honest write down about your relationship like what you did not like, the ones you liked and those you managed. If the cons and things managed are longer than the pros just go and play candy crush on your phone and forget about him/her. You lost look for another challenge.
2. Why why why – you have to ask yourself why did we break up in the first place. Take an honest view of the so called reason you guys called it quits, is the reason foolish or is it a legitimate reason?. Things like having a non-compactible genotype is a legitimate reason so don’t even try to push your luck. Sit back and find out if these problems can be fixed, if they can’t be fixed then let it be. The real trick here is this, if you do this exercise well and don’t find fault from yourself, then you are not yet ready to date again, every relationship break up is a two way thing.
3. Can I Man up – that term is not a gender biased term, by man up I mean own up to your short comings. After you have seen your role in the break up, ask yourself are they things you can change and get better at? if they are then go ahead and wait for my blog post tomorrow on how to get your ex back. If you can’t man up to the short comings, meaning you can’t change please go back and read the yesterday article.
This is your life, so be honest with yourself as you ask these questions, the answer will help you decide whether to fight for your ex or let it go
I would love to hear your views readers