Tuesday, 14 July 2015

The Act of Correction

I walked in to an eatery to get lunch, here was this friends chatting and laughing really hard , I took a glance at their table and wished I had such good company, and then I started to eavesdrop into the conversation (little aproko).
I could not hear the whole gist but there was little argument and in less than 5 minutes the guy went mute and didn't utter another word till they left the eatery.

This is not the first time I have seen a person in the bid to be correct, openly make a fool out of their friend or who ever they are with in public, and the sad thing is that we are ignorant of the effect this type of correction has on the recipient and the way it takes the Joy out of the interaction.
How could being right be more important than protecting the feelings of the ones you love?. Same thing can be seen in various homes where the woman will want to make a fool out of the husband (vice versa)
In the olden days in Africa, women where naturally brought up not to interject when their husbands are talking in public, and I guess this is the reason, because one partner can just ruin the whole moment in a bid to be technically correct.

Please I am not saying you should be a partner in the many lies your husband or wife tells (that is if he lies) but if you must correct in Public make sure it is worth it, not over some menial things that would be forgotten tomorrow, but because of your desire to correct.
An isolated occurrence should not be turned to be seen as an always event, if you are always in the habit of correcting your partner, they will find it hard to keep sharing their dreams, fears and aspirations with you. After a while, if someone you love keeps correcting you, you will become cautious and guarded and refrain from sharing things for the fear of being corrected. No one appreciates being corrected always.

A correction aimed at interrupting your partner affects his momentum and the mood. So my point is, unless it is really really important, shut up and let the gist flow, you can tell him or her later at home that his story was not totally correct or be wise in your correction. The tone used too should not be harsh just like the lady in the story. Look carefully at when, where and why you are correcting your partner and how they are responding to it.  Always try to correct with love and in love as often times the correction has more to do with our needs than that of the partner being corrected.

P.S men are as guilty as women


  1. There are lots of ways to out the correction u can act mildly whilst being funny and then chip in the correction. U don't need to be really mean .. And serious it provokes some people .

  2. very true, very well said, the need to correct in love is greater than the need to be technically correct