I got a call from a friend back then during my university days, actually he’s not my friend just that he knows my brother and in the name of trying to be “big brother” he asked for my phone number which I obliged him with. One morning I got a call from him and after the early morning pleasantries he asked me the Law school I want to attend (as if he’s Director General of the Nigerian Law School). Well, I told him Lagos will definitely be my first choice, Bayelsa and then Abuja as my last. He talked and advised me for 30minutes why Abuja should be my first choice and finally said
“Oy, just send your particulars to me, at least you have free accommodation in my house and it won’t be bad of you cooking for me too”.
For 5 minutes I was speechless and I replied him yes ( as they say, Saying Yes does not cause quarrel). I went back to bed to think about my life that day, me!! Come and live in your house so that I will become your professional cook!!! Oh no professional cook is even better at least they get paid for their services. I call mine SLAVERY…. For goodness sake why will i live with him, (I don’t even want to talk about the daily stress and danger having to transport myself to school every day) only to become his slave in the name of cooking because he won’t just cook or will clean his house etc. This boy obviously does not fear me neither does he have the fear of God o!!! Abeg help me judge this matter ooo!!! I am neither his sister, his cousin, his girlfriend nor did he consider the fact that I am supposed to be in love with my books…only God can judge him.
I still get upset each time I remember this conversation and the worst part is that most ladies indulge in this even in this 21st century. Your parents will send you to school and all because you have that fake lifestyle planned out for yourself, you will prefer being a slave to someone else in order to get the comfort needed and to prove that you run the world. Any girl who does not know where she is coming from, will not go far in life, you don’t have to be abused and enslaved by another being in order to get all the good things of this world. I am also not saying that your background should determine your future.
Fast forward to 2014 Christmas period, I went for a wedding with my cousin and unfortunately for him, his shadow was at the wedding. He pretended not to know me when he saw my cousin and just the slightest chance he got, he decided to lecture me on how I shouldn't keep friends like me cousin. My cousin saw us and asked me how I know him. In fact she didn't even want me to explain when she gave me a download of what he did to her friend who happened to be his girlfriend before they broke up. According to my cousin, he will call her friend and tell her what to cook for him and his friends, the loyal girlfriend will go to the market, prepare the delicious meal, serve them, watch them eat, clear the table and finally do the dishes. Sometimes all the thank you she gets is beating for been disrespectful or complaining unnecessarily.
In summary, all ye big brothers watch your friends that claim to play the role of a big brother to your siblings. Ladies going about “chorring” for one man or the other just for your perceived comfort…hmmmm I pray you think twice because its uncalled for, have a little more value for yourself, you are God's Masterpiece
I know it’s a norm in our society nowadays where a girlfriend officially takes over the role of house-help, mother, sister and wife, even when the dude is yet to make any significant move as regards marrying you. Please ladies we are worth more. All you get is to be used and dumped because all that glitters is not gold. If you feel your calling is to take care of bachelors go and open a Catering and Laundry service at least they will pay you to take care of them (LOL). Respect they say is reciprocal, you should not expect the next person to respect you if you do not respect your self.