Wednesday, 7 October 2015

The Phone and The Spouse

Dear Blog visitors, is it right to go through your partner's phone let alone answer his or her calls?

Came across this video and I decided not to laugh alone

video


 I am of the school of thought that says 'thou shall not pick or go through his or her partner's phone'. Let me give you my reasons before you remind me of how you two have vowed to spend the rest of your lives together as one etc or how 1 + 1 has suddenly become 1.

1.      NO TWO MARRIAGES ARE THE SAME
Just as our faces are different so are the characters and the way our partners react to issues different. You dare not pick or go through your spouse’s phone because your friend does same to his or her spouse. You are not married to the same persons and if your friend’s spouse is comfortable with it, I think it is wise to have that discussion with your spouse before venturing into that line of business. In other words ‘one man’s food is another man’s poison,’ find out that which goes well with your tummy lest it purges you (and blood dey follow some purging self).
Your level of communication and understanding of your spouse will help you better. While some will understand the reason behind you going through their phones or helping them pick their calls some may not.


2.      TRUST
This is the most expensive thing in this world as it could take years to build and seconds to lose. Someone once said ‘if I cut you off, chances are that you handed me the scissors’ and if you ask me I will say going through your spouse’s phone is equivalent to handing him or her the scissors. The truth is you cannot control or censor the kind of messages or pictures the third party sends to your spouse and once you start going through the phone and seeing all the funny chats and messages you start to lose faith in your spouse. Gradually you become the house detective and relationships are about trust and once you start playing the detective then you start having issues and that expensive thing called TRUST will be lost and in some cases it might take forever to repair.


Now there is a difference between going through your partner’s phone and picking your partner’s call. On a normal day I will say it is okay to pick your partner’s call but human beings are very funny and you can never tell what the person at the other end of the line has to say. How will your spouse feel when he or she picks your call and there is nobody to respond at the other end of the line? This kind of scenario can keep one at the edge of the seat and automatically makes one a detective.

3.      ATTITUDE
There is this popular quote that ‘relationship never dies a natural death…they are murdered by ego, attitude and ignorance’. We human beings are naturally jealous and most jealous persons have nasty attitudes especially when they cannot hide how irritated they are. The kind of things we see or read can affect our state of mind, it can make one become jealous of another and it can make one’s attitude change (it could be positive or negative). Brethren to avoid gossip of how your spouse’s attitude has changed especially towards you….STAY OFF HIS OR HER PHONE(s)

Finally you could end up wrong if you use phone call and text messages from your spouse’s phone to judge his or her fidelity and this singular issue can destroy your marriage or relationship. When you decide to play the role of a detective in your marriage or relationship, he or she will equally try to play the role of the smart thief. You will spend your time chasing a shadow instead of the main substance which is making your spouse always longing to spend that quality time with you.  

1 comment:

  1. It's neither here nor there. The truth is if one respects his or her self and be honest transparent there will be no room for doubt.

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