A RECAP

For days now there has been protest by Pro-Biafra groups, the Movement for the Actualization of the Soverign State of Biafra (MASSOB) and the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) in Onitsha. This protest has reportedly led to the death of 9 civilians,  2 Police amd many injured. Properties have also been burnt (Dangote can testify)

I have really thought hard to understand these groups and what they truly hope to achieve. There is a proverb in my place that says "I ku Nwanyi e be gi a Igbu ewu" meaning " To marry a woman does not end in doing her sendforth"

It is not enough loosing voices, youths, properties and causing serious traffic chanting and clamouring for Biafra. 
Biafra when Anambra will not marry Abia, 
Biafra when the leaders of the states cannot provide security
Biafra where civil servants have not been paid for over 7months
Biafra when Abia will not marry Imo
Biafra when Nsukka people are seen as third class igbo people "e speaki kwele"
Biafra when Abakaliki people are only seen as rice marketers.
Biafra yet you discriminate amongst catholic and Anglicans. 
Biafra and yet some are seen as outcast "osu"
Biafra when Aba products are seen as the most sub standard products on earth 
Finally to all the youths clamouring for Biafra ask yourselves 
1. What you have done for Nigeria 
2. What has your Governor done for you (Biafran States)
3. What have your leaders done for the families of those who have lost their lives for this cause. 
4. What resources do you have to sustain yourselves considering the fact that a lot of our natural resources are under exploited.

Clamouring for Biafra is like saying those states  should control their "under exploited" resources.  No good roads, electricity,  work, security and you want to be independent  (hmmmm 😷)
A friend of mine once suggested that any state that cannot stand should merge 😁😭 "Abia, Imo and Anambra will merge and form ABIMBRA State" when we literally fight for everything Land, Boundary, Properties in fact we don't even love ourselves let alone our neighbours  cos if we did we will understand that we will achieve more as a country if we are united.

Just as we all pray to God heal to our land lets also not allow ourselves be used as pawns by these so called people... Dear Youths dont let anyone deceive you that you are the leaders of tomorrow and you need to violently take it by force.
As individuals we need to change our mentality towards alot of things before we can see the change been clamoured for. 
Change in the sense that citizens of Kogi , Bayelsa will come out n vote peacefully today 🙏🙏.

#SayNoToViolence
#SayNoToAllTheKillings
#UnitedWeStand
#ThereIsStrengthInUnity
#YouthsDoNotAllowYourselvesToBeUsedAsThugs

Laugh Out Loud

 

Just a quick question, should this be classified as lie or just a child obediently carrying out instructions ?

APC KOGI #CommonSense

Ever since the demise of Late Prince Audu who was formerly the Governorship candidate for the All Progressive Congress, there has been a lot of controversy as to how the next Candidate will emerge since there is a Lacuna as regards what happens when a Governosrship candidate dies during election and especially when the election has been declared inconclusive.

First of all is there a Lacuna? YES

Section 181 of the 1999 Constitution (as amended )  made provision as regards the due process to take when a candidate dies after a valid election had been conducted and winner declared. In this scenario the Deputy Governor becomes the Governor while he appoints a new Deputy.

Section 36 of the Electoral Act 2010 make provision on the due steps to take when a candidate dies after nomination but before commencement of the poll.

I am almost sure that the Constitution of APC as no provision as regards the procedure to nominate a new candidate when the former candidate dies during election.

Yesterday I read two different articles
1. That the Leaders of All Progressive Congress in Kogi East Senatorial District have nominated the first son of Late Prince Abubakar to replace him as the party's Governosrship candidate.

2. The running mate to the late prince James Faleke asking INEC to declare him the governor elect  of the state.

I am neither the AGF to advise INEC nor a SAN to advise the party so I am going to air my view as a common man and borrow Ben Murray's #CommonSense slogan.

1. INEC recognises part and not candidate hence the party is allowed to fill the vacancy created by the demise of the candidate.

2. We are in a democratic world therefore a common man will expect that the party conducts primaries where a new candidate will emerge (long process if you ask me).

3. Sine this is a joint ticket the common man will expect the Deputy Governor steps in as the new Governorship candi date and a new Deputy nominated by the party (after all I am sure people voted to the party because of the deputy) #CommonSense

Finally I will advise that the party should not flaunt any son of the late candidate just like that firstly because of the alleged rape allegations by one lady with the Twitter handle @Sugabelly. Rape is a serious offence and personally I think it should be investigated. 😡

Secondly even if the want to flaunt any member of family then due process should be followed, conduct another primaries and let the man with the highest vote step in.

Finally  "TO PEACE TO REIGN" 😂 I will advise the party to use their #CommonSense

5 DAYS TO 25 !!!

I turn 25 in exactly 5 days, and truthfully, I am terrified. Mostly because of the realization that I become a full-fledged adult averse to the somewhat predictable chain of responsibilities that would follow; closer to 30, and not exactly living the dream of having N25million in my account by 25. I mean, wasn’t it just last week when I was so youthful & vibrant in my rompers at my 21^st birthday party? All of a sudden, in 5 days, I will be quarter to life and no longer in my early twenties. I feel like I am running out of time.

I repeat, I am terrified!!!

       

Now, I have been listening to a lot of music lately, No, not the ‘skibo-robo-tinghen-ghen-type of Nigerian music’ (I say this in no condescending manner whatsoever, Olamide is bae) but the deep-think-about-your-life kind of music and my thoughts have been all over the place. Thoughts on whether or not my life will eventually turn out as I want, whether I will make a great wife & mother, whether I will achieve my career goals and dreams, whether I will still visit Jade Mountain, St Lucia for a month and just eat, sleep & lounge. 

I recently got introduced to Jon Bellion, and one of his songs, ‘Human’ resonates so much with me. Basically because, like Jon, I had gotten so sick of being human at some point and felt lost, despite having so much. Some days I would ask myself why I didn’t come as a chicken, the most difficult decision I would have had to make would be whether to cross the road or not?? Or a Chihuahua, going pearl shopping and being pampered by rich white folks. Lol.

I promise, I’m not going through quarter-life crisis, I just think life came at me so fast and 20 year old me would have appreciated guidelines on how to deal with this “fear”. But, I have overcome, although, I am not exactly having the best year but with the help of various verses from the Bible, amazing friends and good music, I have been able to cope, deal with life’s challenges and savour the positive side of turning 25. 

This is why, out of the goodness of my heart, I have decided to share my coping mechanism and guide on how to deal with certain situations that come for you in life.

Disclaimer: This list is not exhaustive neither am I a motivational speaker. Cheers.

1)    Pray: I know every Nigerian says “Pray about it” to every situation, and as cliché as that may sound, you really should pray. There’s this peace that comes with talking to God about your problems, waiting for him to direct your next step and believing he has the solution. There are many verses in the Bible that helped me in dealing with fear, I’ll just list some of my favorites:

Deuteronomy 3:16 – Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave nor forsake you.

Isaiah 41:10 – So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

Isaiah 41:13 – For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says, Do not fear; I will help you.

2)    Be Positive: Please, by all means, have a positive outlook towards your future, your career and goals. My biggest fear in life is failing and I realize that my “fear” in turning 25 stemmed from having so many negative thoughts about whether or not I would achieve my laid down goals. Now, this has done more harm than good, because, all I have done is worry, overestimate, and lose focus.

But, one day, I listened thoroughly to the lyrics of Talisco’s ‘Your Wish’, and I must say, this song has become the soundtrack of my life. All Mr Talisco was saying is; ‘Smile, Slow Down, Dream. There are no fixed rules to life, another day comes, be positive’.

(Let’s just say my music supplier has helped with the process, without realizing it)

3) Know thyself: Man, know thyself. In the words of Raphael Ornstein, “Knowledge of oneself is the only real knowledge, for as one understands oneself, only then may one truly understand another”. Spending time with yourself and enjoying your own company is invaluable on so many levels. You get to have a good grasp of your motivations, strengths, weaknesses, goals and you learn to align your life in accordance with these things. I was forced into 3 weeks of ‘alone’ time last month and I was able to put myself before anyone else, restrategize, sort out my errors & review my goals. Not everytime turn up & shakitibobo, sometimes, stay in & have conversations with thyself. Merci!

4)    Balance your finances: I got my financial statement from my bank at the end of one month and started hyperventilating. In my mind, I said, ‘Hello, GTbank, there must have been a typographical error somewhere, where are the zeros in my account that my dreams are made of’. Frankly, I have always been prudent and cautious, however, I had this idea that at a certain age, before I moved into another area of my life, I should have a “target” amount in savings. I created this goal some years back, and the reality is like a plate of badly prepared black amala. The truth is, if I had taken control of my finances adequately when I made that goal, I wouldn’t be here talking to you mortals, Lol.

Dear young person, the key to handling your finances appropriately is taking out your savings first, then, you have a clear picture of what you can afford, and the expenditure to forego. Don’t spend first, and save what is left. The time to build this life-long habit is NOW, your responsibilities will soon come at you like ants rushing towards an anthill.

5)   Read: You are what you read. The importance of reading cannot be overemphasized, it opens & develops the mind and imagination, and increases knowledge in any area of life. Growing up, I was the poster child for ‘avid reader’. I used to read as much as I could, whenever I could, which shaped my thinking capacity to an extent. I was nick-named Booker T. Washington and this fueled my parents’ decision to make me study Law.

Not like I had an opinion in choosing my course of study in a Nigerian home, Lol. Try explaining to my mother that your passion is photography and that’s what you want to study, you won’t know how you got to MFM’s mountain for deliverance.

I digress…

Well, at a certain age, the penchant for reading stopped abruptly. I would read one book for months and dump it without getting anything out of it. I would read one page, press my phone for hours, go to the next page, check my phone, then, dump the book.

I couldn’t continue with this bad habit, so, I turned the cause of my problem (my phone & the internet) into my solution. I have taken my addiction to twitter on a positive level, turning it to a knowledge-gaining ground by following accounts of interest (Law, Economics, Politics) and reading and arguing over articles being shared. Since I won’t stay off my phone, I’ve fallen in love with e-books as well. I’m currently reading “The French Revolution” by Thomas Carlyle, on my phone.

Dear young person, self-development is what sets you apart from others. If you are knowledge-lazy, you end up as a drop-out, even when you’ve attained high academical achievements. I learnt this the hard way, and I’m trying to incorporate reading as much as I can into my daily life.

These steps definitely made me a better ‘coper’. I have to come to terms with where my life is at, I am soaring. My perspective has shifted to a whole different level, because instead of burdening myself with thoughts and fears, I concentrate on what is actionable. Now, I feel like I can take the world by storm and in 5 days, I can confidently tell people, ‘being a quarter of a century is really not that bad’. The learning and experiences do not stop and I am definitely looking forward to my 30^th. 

-         

  ABIYE ABIBO

DILEMMA in telling the TRUTH

Does the truth always set people free?
If I lie a little to save my relationship will I be hurting the ones I love?

The truth is that not ALL situations demand the same level of openness (lol i am sure at this point some people are already asking if we are still brethren). We are humans  and it is only natural that at some point in our lives we are face with the dilemma between our desire for that honest relationship  and the temptation to lie about our failings in order to protect the ones we love.
I once read somewhere that the amount of truth you must tell to any given person depends how much healthy intimacy you want to have with the person.

Don't get me wrong, I am of the school of thought that couples should maintain a healthy relationship by telling the truth. On the other side of the coin our human nature gives us the ability of not forgetting when we have been hurt by the ones we love. Even the TRUTH HURTS sometimes and WE NEVER FORGET.  That is why most times when there is a small issue and the mat is raised, the dirty under it is seen. Your partner trusted you with the dirt and expected you to trash it and if possible burn it but you did not and in that moment of rage, anger and revenge you use the truth as a weapon. Now you are forced to start keeping the truth to your self no matter how hard it hurts if it will protect you and the ones you love like its said 'what you don't know wont kill you'. As you can see this is the dilemma of telling the truth.

At this point I will like to ask
1. Is it okay to keep the truth or to say half truth in order not to hurt the ones you love?
2. How can one guarantee that the truth said won't be used against him or her in future?
3. Which truths are worth telling?

These questions are usually the questions we are confronted with when in dilemma as regards telling the truth. Hope you are not expecting me to answer the questions,(*tongueout*). 
No matter how contradicted the story is ALWAYS TELL YOURSELF THE TRUTH even Shakespeare said " to thine own self be true" because the intimate connection in your life is the one you have with your self.

Someone once told me 'it is always good to tell...' and I am like even when it will break you. I thought about it and I will say tell your loved ones as much truth as you can because at the end they are all you have to stand by you in your trying times...(if they leave you God will never forsake you lol).

I am not saying you should lie, i am saying that just as the courts make a person taking the oath to say " I promise to say the truth, THE WHOLE TRUTH, and nothing but the truth". This clearly states that there are different kinds of truth, my emphasis is on the WHOLE TRUTH. I believe you should should not lie but i also believe the whole truth is a luxury you can not afford always.
So be stingy with the whole truth because it can be used to burn you if in the wrong hands and also it can kill the receiver if they are not prepared for it.Giving out the whole truth requires wisdom in many situations.

Finally TIMING is of essence...know the right time to tell the truth and come clean. 'Select your moment carefully and establish a baseline of honesty...' in all fairness there is no perfect time to tell the truth but there is certainly a wrong time. The art of waiting for the perfect environment is one that no one on earth has mastered yet. Instead of waiting for a perfect moment, create one. Choose a period of no tension, privacy and comfortable environment and say the truth in love.
So what are your views?