IMAGE CONSULTANT

Mirror Mirror on the wall

(My struggle with my image and reality in a vain world)

I know you are a bundle of self-control, and you’re a conscientious person. You are neither moved by the new iPhone Xs advert or the Samsung Galaxy 8. That new apparel on the boutique window as you passed by is not appealing to you, and the watch on your friend's wrist is not quietly shouting your name. (lol)

In this society now vanity is the air we breathe. Every corner of your life you are being made to see things that are supposed to help you appear better than you currently are. The advertisement industry has succeeded in making us somehow hungry for a better version of everything. Something you got 6months ago is now regarded as old and outdated let alone what you bought 5years ago.

Our image, value, and worth is now directly tied to things we have and can display. The intangible things of life have been relegated to the background, the concept of hard work and sweat equity is no longer fashionable. The society is controlling the image of who we are.

This demand on our image is so subtle, we sometimes don’t see it. I will give a few examples.

A little time ago it was a thing of pride to say my shoes have lasted for 2years and see how new and comfortable it still feels, but now that comment would be greeted with laughter and comments like. “Haba those shoes are old throw them away”, “did this shoe swear for you”. Durability is no longer a prized asset in this vanity society. A demand has been placed on your appearance.

 The new demand on women is how the society defines being beautiful and sexy, the new criteria are hips and boobs that are astronomical in size, people who are not “Hippy” are no longer tagged as sexy or beautiful. A demand has been placed on the image of a “young lady”.

Daily in my gym sections, I see men who will kill themselves on the bench press all in the bid to have the coveted 6packs some are now hooked on weed, steroids etc. because it is believed to make the process faster. A demand has been placed on the image of a “young man”.

You read blogs every day, of what a man should at least have before you should go out or even consider to marry him, a car, a house, a job, a fat bank account. Etc. A demand on the image of a successful man has been placed.

If the mirror you use to appraise yourself is the mirror the society has given to you, the mirror that spells conformity, the mirror that spells show off, the mirror that spells pride, the mirror that spells sex, the mirror that spells THAT YOUR WORTH IS IN WHAT YOU HAVE NOT WHO YOU ARE. Then you are in a big trouble.

Whenever I catch myself trying to drift away into looking at my image through the mirror of the society, I quickly remind myself that it is not what I have that makes me valuable, it is who I am. I was created valuable by God in His own image. He loves me even when no one does, He loves me even when I don’t have new shoes and clothes to go out with, and he loves me with my pot belly and fat arms. 

The mirror of your value and worth should stem from the knowledge that God is your father and he loves you. It does not matter if I am wearing the best clothes or driving the best car. He is my father and He is working all things out for my good.

When this world of vanity and cares tries to rear its ugly head up again at you, when you feel you have to break the bank to impress your Instagram followers, when you feel you just have to move to bigger apartment to show you have arrived even when you can’t afford it, pause and tell yourself JESUS LOVES ME JUST AS I AM and I need not prove anything to anyone.

SWEAT EQUITY

It is becoming a normal line in our lives, people use it in ways, places, and conversations when they are looking for a word to describe that they are too lazy to do what is required. 

Amongst ladies, it is seen as tush thing to avoid the stressful part of life and among men, it is used when the guy feels the work/job is beneath him and that the stressful things are left for the lower men.

When did this notion become a part of our culture? When did working hard become stressful? Most times when they say that the youth of nowadays are not employable people tend to think it is because of certificate and qualification but most times it is because of lack of sweat equity. 

Anyone asking us to work hard is seen as the enemy and someone who does not know what the job entails. Anything that will make your sweat pores do what they were created for is now seen as evil. We follow up with our already created reply “pls don’t stress me or I am under a lot of stress”. Simply put we are a lazy generation.  

I have learnt that every dream has a sweat equity and till you are willing to put in the sweat equity you are not worthy of that dream. I know I am talking to myself as I write this piece but then it has to be said. What we call stress now these days is just life. So brace yourself and face it, next time when the opportunity comes for you to cover your laziness with the word stressful just get up and get on with it. 

TIPS ON RESPECT

So I just finished reading 'The Life and Times of Bimbo Odukoya' written by Pastor Taiwo Odukoya and I just thought it wise to share the courtship tips on respect with my own little comment in italics;

1. Do not let the relationship move too fast in its infancy- the phrase 'not too hot, not too cool' has validity.
Personally, I don't understand his definition of 'too fast' but often times, we meet people and somehow it seems we have known them all our lives and you just like that the friendship progresses to another level

2. Do not discuss your personal inadequacies and flaws in great detail when the relationship is new.
This is one aspect of his tips that I keep failing come tomorrow because personally when asked who I am you only get to hear of my flaws from me and if its something you think you can deal with or help me work on then I will totally appreciate if not then farewell is inorder. 

3.Remember that respect precedes love, build it stone by stone.
I can NEVER fault this tip. Respect is key!!! It helps curtail a lot of misunderstandings in the nearest future. It should also not be one sided as I believe Respect is Reciprocal.

4. Don't call too often or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you.
In as much as I agree to a reasonable extent, I also believe Communication is key to every relationship. To me, there is nothing like too much call as most times the recipient might even be preoccupied to receive the call and in such scenario, a text will suffice. There is nothing as refreshing, sexy and encouraging as getting a message from your partner letting you in on his or her itinerary every day. It also gets to show that despite his or her busy schedule you are in his or her 'thought-process' lol!!

5. Don't be too quick to reveal your desire to get married.
Like my friends will always say 'Marriage is not for everybody' so first settle with your creator if it's for you, it will definitely come..'Delay is not denial' as God's time is the best. Be calm in order not to rush out the way you rushed in. Above all such 'quick revelation might scare the other person away from you.

6. Relationships are constantly being tested by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook.
Hmmmm! I don't even like all these 'tests' just kuku purchase 'the bait' wholesale and you can 'nibble' away 

7. Do not expect anyone to meet all your emotional needs.
YES, I TOTALLY AGREE!!! We need to learn to be our number one cheerleader likewise take control of our emotions, needs to a reasonable extent. You can't always rely on another person, many have done that and have come back crushed and if you think I am lying ask Adele.

8. Guard against selfishness in your love affair; neither the woman nor the man should do all the giving.
There is love in sharing which includes the responsibilities, showing love and affections etc Generally this life is 'a give and take something' Do not expect to receive from the other person when you have not given anything.

9. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential spouse is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, selfish etc
If you are like me, you will see everything as a sign from not calling, not replying messages or not even returning them (well these might not be seen as being disloyal to some people but if you are loyal to what you have with someone, you should be able to keep them abreast of everything) To me it is a big deal. 

10. Don't marry the person you think you can live with, marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
So true...One you are inadequate without him or her.

HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!! 

LICENCE TO PRAISE

Someone once said 'we would worry less if we praised more. thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction'
Are you like me that have been worried about a thousand and one things lately?
Do you feel that you cannot make it on your own? Well of cos you can't.
That is why you have to let go and let God pilot your affairs.
The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation; This is my God, and I will praise him...Exodus 15:2

Let us worry less and praise God more!!! what ever troubles weighing you down are featherweight compared to the glory yet to come. That is why come this sunday 

We waited for it!!! Now it's finally upon us... On Sunday @officialgoodguy and I would be Licensed to Praise!!! #License2Praise..
June11th 2017
#Made4This..

@ RCCG SOLUTION CENTRE
3, Oladunni street by walter siffre street (Glory Estate)  Ifako Gbagada Lagos.
2pm.

is #compere #comic  #comicemperor #internationalweddinghost #princeofyarns #kingofflows #kingdomhypeman
#Dare2standout #niche #brand #staystrong #focus #christinme #easyflow  #superstarcomedian #dj #shure #mic #mc #emcee #weddinghost #radio #tv #comedian 

You really don't want to miss this!!! https://youtu.be/9PfmdjX1i5A

LIES

 Often times if I am asked what I hate, you will hear me mention other things but recently I just discovered that my hatred for lies knows no bound especially when it is coming from a friend or someone I could literally vouch for.

I am not saying I have never lied before. In fact I lie every day I am on my feet in court but that is because necessity has been laid upon me to defend my clients diligently and oh! Lawyers are not liars’ 😄😄😄 well “a man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”

Anyways fast forward to last month I found out that someone I literally told my friend I could vouch for him has been lying to me. Like you know when someone has been serving you white lies and you have been eating it just to quench that voracious appetite. The day I found out I was shocked and for the first time I confronted the person. I mean how one could be so callous to the extent of serving such lies without even pitying the recipient. 

For weeks I couldn't help but rant and that did not help matters because I found out that it consumed me more. I remembered a friend once told me to forgive but you will also agree with me that as much as it is easier to forgive, forgetting on the other hand is not such an easy thing to day. Till today I have never spoken to that person again even though I might be forced to do so sooner or later.

I know people lie to avoid looking stupid, incompetent or the fear of someone getting upset with them but why not ask yourself these questions before you embark on that journey

a.       Is it worth it?

b.      What impact will it have on the recipient if the truth finally comes out?

It actually takes a lot more effort to lie than to tell the truth.

Lying doesn’t save your sanity

Lying makes people distrust you

A lie taxes your brain and causes a lot of stress and discomfort

I know you will say sometimes ‘Honesty is not the best policy’, even SIMI prefers to be lied to if the truth will break her heart but this is me telling you to tell me the truth as I don’t mind leaving with my shattered heart in my hands and above all God hates lies and loves the truth.

   

PS: 'HONESTY WILL ALWAYS GET YOU FARTHER IN LIFE THAN LIES WILL EVER COULD. A LIE COULD OPEN MANY DOORS BUT THEY WILL ONLY BE SLAMMED IN YOUR FACE WHEN THE TRUTH COMES OUT'